My left eye twitches, but I wait for it to subside as I spin around to face him. “Alicia loved you even after knowing you’re a monster.”
His face falls as he drops his own queen. The sound of the chess piece hitting the board echoes in the silent office. “We both know how that ended up for her.”
37
Elsa
Sweat covers my limbs and beads on my forehead.
My breathing comes out rugged and out of control.
The leather creaks underneath me.
It’s too dark behind my closed eyes.
“Do you see the steps?” Dr Khan asks from across from me.
“It’s those same dark stairs. There’s an old wooden door in view. It looks like something you see in those World War Two films or something.”
“Go on,” he urges.
My shoulders snap upright, but I don’t stop to focus on the fear.
Fear is temporary in front of my thirst for the truth.
Now more than ever, I need to know what’s in that basement.
I told Dr Khan that I’m not blocking myself anymore. That this time, I’ll remember.
I’ll remember Eli and my parents.
I’ll remember everything.
My breathing slows as I take the steps down.
The light becomes dimmer with each step I take. The shadows darken, forming a black fog around me.
I can feel those monsters whispering on my skin and clawing at my back.
Return where you came from.
You don’t belong here.
No. This is my home and exactly where I belong.
With a deep shaky breath, I keep going. All I focus on is the old basement door.
There’s something important there.
Something like the truth.
Don’t they say the truth sets you free?
“Slowing down and shutting down,” Dr Khan’s voice lowers in volume. “Slowing down and shutting down. Slowing down and shutting down… shutting down completely.”
* * *
I stand in front of the door, only it’s not me. I bring my hands up to my face and they’re small, little hands. My feet and body are also small. The top of my head barely reaches the handle.