My breathing catches in my throat. Fuck, fuck.
How the hell does he know about that? I mean, I read about it, I even so shamelessly searched it in the porn site bar. I felt sick to my stomach for the entire week after. How could I be interested in something that ruined women’s lives?
How could I be so deprived to fantasise about it?
Maybe Aiden is my karma. Maybe I’m being punished for ever thinking about that.
A spark shines in his eyes. “You have heard about it.”
“No,” I murmur turning my head to the side. “You’re the only one who’s interested in these perverted things.”
God. I’m such a hypocrite.
“You should look it up.” He grabs my chin and makes me face him. “I think you’ll find it useful.”
“Useful how?”
A wolfish grin curves his lips. He knows he got my interest. Bastard.
“There are people who like the rush of adrenaline that comes with rough, out of control sex. So they like being forced into it.”
“People like to be raped?” I thought it was just a fantasy, not practical… right?
“No. They like being forced to have sex. They usually plan it with their partners, so it’s technically not rape.”
“Is that the excuse you tell yourself?”
“I don’t tell myself excuses. I’m completely assertive of who and what I am. I know I’m different, I just don’t care.” His finger traces down my cheek. “The excuse is for you since you seem to so desperately need it.”
“I do not.”
“Fuck, Elsa. Stop being so damn stubborn.”
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” I hate the tremors in my voice. “Why don’t you let me go?”
A strange tightness grips my chest at the thought.
What if he really lets me go. What if he —
“I can’t,” His voice drops.
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
Something sharp and heavy slices through my chest. Aiden always has a choice. Hell, he even makes it clear that all choices are to his benefit.
It doesn’t make sense that he’s the one without a choice.
“Are you playing another mind game?”
“Are you, Elsa? Because I was never supposed to like you this much. Hell. I wasn’t supposed to think about you more than I think of myself.”
I was never supposed to like you this much.
Did I hear that right? Did Aiden just admit to liking me?
I think it’s right. I think… Aiden likes me.