"Okay, how'd you know about him?"
"It was easy."
"How?"
"Well, you know when you came back from that weekend in the mountains when you lost your virtue?"
Holly turned pink. "You thought that, did you?"
"I didn't think; I knew."
"How, Ham?"
"I just walked up to him in the orderly room on Monday morning and stood about six inches from his nose; I looked him in the eye and said, 'Good morning, Lieutenant. Have a nice weekend?' And he turned purple."
Holly put a hand to her brow. "Oh, God."
"The same color you are right now."
"I am not purple."
"Close."
"Not anywhere near close. A little red, maybe. Who wouldn't be?"
"You didn't see me turn purple when we were talking about my threesome," Ham said.
"My God, Ham, the lieutenant and I didn't have a threesome."
"Who said you did?"
"You implied it, just now."
"You inferred it, maybe."
"You are impossible. We're not talking about sex lives anymore, is that clear?"
"Not even about my sex life?"
"Yours is the most off-limits-right after mine."
"Well, if you want to hide stuff from your old man."
"I'm not hiding anything."
"You're not talking about it"
"That's not the same thing as hiding it."
"Sure, it is. If you're not talking, you're hiding."
"Ham, what exactly is it you want to know?"
"Me? I don't want to know anything. We're only talking about this because you brought it up."
"I didn't bring it up; you did."
"Whatever you say," Ham said smugly.