"I'm ashamed to tell you how they've behaved. They've never held Christian, never gone to see him, never sent him any clothes or gifts. They want you to take him, so they can forget he exists."
"So Melissa's disgrace will die with her?"
Alanna hated to admit that he was right. "Yes, they would have been equally heartbroken regardless of the circumstances of her death, but that she wasn't the virtuous young woman they believed her to be, clouds her memory and deepens their pain."
Hunter saw things far more personally. "It's not her lack of virtue that shames them, but the fact I am Indian. When you introduce me as your husband, will they be ashamed of you as well?"
That he would continue to refer to himself as her spouse gave Alanna a burst of hope that, despite their disagreement over Christian, they might still be able to have a shared future. Her mood remained downcast, however. "They'll be so grief-stricken over Elliott's death, that whatever I do won't matter."
Hunter had forgotten they would have to impart that sad news. He did not want to become distracted by it now either. "You told me there was a woman caring for Christian. Won't she keep him?"
"Permanently, you mean?"
"Yes, until he's grown."
"She's a young widow who cares for infants to support her three children. She's very good with Christian, very attentive, but I don't know if she would agree to raise him."
"We could pay her. I earn more money than most white men."
He was a proud man, and she was touched he would take such great pains to talk with her calmly. She had seen a fair sample of how hard and ruthless he could be, and she was grateful he had not chosen to display that side of his personality with her. "What about your family? Would your parents take Christian?"
That was an option Hunter refused to consider. "My father is dead, and I wouldn't ask my mother's husband to raise a dog."
Alanna was shocked by the vehemence of his tone. "Don't you plan to take me home to meet your family?"
Hunter shrugged. "I thought about visiting them before you came, but I didn't really want to go. When my father died, everything changed. When my mother took a second husband, I left. Perhaps someday I'll take you to meet my people, but for now, you are all the family I want."
From what he had just said, Alanna gathered the impression that Hunter felt no greater sense of belonging with the Seneca, than he did in the white world. She looked out toward the lake. Her aunt, uncle, and cousins had done their best to make her feel welcome in their home, but they had never replaced the beloved family she had lost. To learn that Hunter still mourned his father, or perhaps for the life he had once had, inspired a feeling of kinship she had not known they shared. They would have each other it seemed, but she still wanted more.
"I don't want Christian to grow up unloved and bitter," she murmured softly.
"Neither do I. If he's as fine a boy as you say, someone will want him."
"I want him," Alanna reminded him.
Tortured by his earlier suspicions, Hunter's expression grew stern. "More than you want me?"
That he would even ask such a question pained Alanna deeply. "No woman should ever be asked to choose between her husband and her child."
"But Christian isn't your child," Hunter stressed, "and if you don't want him to grow up unloved and bitter, then you'll help me find him a home." Frustrated by their lack of agreement, he rose and took several steps away, but then, believing he had found a way to convince her, he turned back. "I would be the worst of fathers to the boy. Don't doom him to that, every child deserves better."
"We may have children together. If you can't love Melissa's son, will you be able to love mine?"
Hunter took her hands and drew her to her feet. The fringed hem of his shirt reached past her knees, but even dressed in buckskins, she did not resemble a Seneca maiden. He had wanted her to be the first to speak of love. Now that seemed a cowardly way to behave. He cupped her face tenderly in his hands.
"I love you and I want us to be together always. I'll adore our children, but they'll be conceived in love, as Christian should have been." He leaned down to kiss her, and she relaxed against him. Considering that a good sign, he deepened the kiss and made a silent vow to give her a child as soon as possible. He was positive that once she had a baby of her own to love, Christian would be forgotten.
Wrapped in his embrace, Alanna felt surrounded by his love, but believing him to have a far kinder heart than he allowed others to see, she prayed that once he saw Christian, he would be unable to give him away. Buoyed by that hope, she hugged him more tightly. "Nothing is ever going to be easy for us, is it?"
Hunter laughed as he contradicted her. "One thing is."
Curious as to what, Alanna looked up at him, but the sparkle in his dark eyes as he leaned down to kiss her again made his answer plain. Love flowed between them with such graceful ease, and she hoped as desperately as he that it would be enough to keep the harsh demands of the world at bay.
* * *
Hunter kept Alanna by his side all day. He showed her how to use his bow when they went hunting for pheasant, and insisted she showed promise, although in truth he had seen small boys display more skill. After her brief lesson, he shot a plump bird and kept a close eye on it while it roasted.
"You didn't help to cook the meals at home, did you?" he asked.