“Excuse me,” Mia said, putting a possessive arm around Korum’s neck. “That’s a gorgeous cheren I’ve got.”
“True, true,” Laira said, laughing. Then her expression turned more serious. “All right, Mia, this is what you can expect now: it will feel like your mind is going blank. Then you’ll feel a rush of images and impressions as your memory returns and the procedure is reversed. As the memories come, I want you to focus on them one at a time, so you absorb them slowly. That’s why you have to be awake for this, even though I know it’s going to be uncomfortable for you.”
“Is she going to be in pain?” Korum asked, his arms tightening around Mia.
“No, just discomfort, like I said,” Laira replied. “Are you ready, Mia?”
“Yes.” Mia braced herself.
“Here we go then.”
At first, Mia felt a pleasant lassitude stealing over her and she closed her eyes. Her mind felt like it was drifting, as though she was about to fall asleep. There was a strange sensation of nothingness, of blankness.
Suddenly, it was like a bomb going off in her brain, an explosion of colors, feelings, and shapes, all appearing at once. Mia gasped, her fingers digging into Korum’s arm as she tried to cope with the onslaught. It was too much, like a 3D IMAX movie with too many special effects, only streamed directly into her brain.
Somewhere far away, she could hear Korum’s voice. It was furious, demanding. “Stop it! Stop it right now! Can’t you see she’s in pain?”
“She’ll get through this . . .” It was Laira’s voice, calm and soothing. Mia latched onto it, needing something steady in the maelstrom that was engulfing her mind.
At first it was unbearable, and she screamed silently, too overwhelmed to emit any actual sound. Laira hadn’t lied. There was no pain; there was just agony. It felt like Mia’s brain was being filled to the brim, her skull stretching and straining to contain it all.
And just when she thought her head would literally explode, the agony started to ease, colors and shapes separating into images, those images and emotions turning into specific events. Memories began to coalesce, taking shape one by one until she could grasp them, integrate them into what she already knew and rememb
ered.
There was the party at the end of March, shortly before she met Korum. Jessie had dragged her to it, and Mia had ended up having a good time after a few drinks. She’d danced with a few guys, even exchanged phone numbers with one of them, but nothing ever came of it. If only she’d known then the strange turn her life would take . . .
The memory of her first meeting with Korum flashed through her mind, and Mia relived the sharp feeling of fear, mixed with the first stirrings of desire. The man who held her so lovingly now had terrified her in the beginning, his arrogance and casual disregard for her wishes leading her to assume the worst about his species.
More memories . . . Her first time in Korum’s bed, John explaining to her about charl, the incident at the club where Korum had nearly killed Peter . . . Korum holding her while she cried, Mia bringing him to meet her parents for the first time . . . The good, the bad, the ugly – she remembered it all, and it was like a void inside her was disappearing, the before and after colliding, making her feel whole for the first time since Saret’s attack.
Saret! Mia remembered him too. She’d liked him, regarded him as her boss and mentor. He had been the one to give her the language implant, to let her intern in his lab at Korum’s request. Mia relived the excitement she’d felt when Korum had told her of the opportunity, the thrill of learning what thousands of human scientists could only dream of.
And then her last memory from before: Saret cornering her in the lab. Mia remembered her terror, her shock at learning of his intentions for the human race . . . Her disgust when he admitted to wanting her, the sick feeling in her stomach when he told her of his plans for the Krinar . . . And that awful darkness taking over when he wiped out a major chunk of her life and altered her brain.
Now the present and the past were one again. Mia became aware of Korum stroking her hair, raining gentle kisses on her face. Still keeping her eyes closed, Mia relived the more recent events, from her awakening in Korum’s bed to the trip to Krina. She tried to compare her emotions then to the way she felt now – and to the way she had always been.
Saret hadn’t lied. When Mia had woken up without her memories, she hadn’t been completely herself. She had indeed been more accepting, more open to new experiences. She could see that now. However, that had been a good thing. In his quest to soften Mia toward him, Saret had inadvertently created the perfect conditions for her to overcome the pain and confusion from her memory loss. Instead of agonizing, Mia had been acclimating. Instead of worrying, she had been learning.
And instead of fearing Korum again, she had been falling in love with him. Really, truly falling in love with the beautiful, tender Krinar who had greeted her upon awakening. Korum of the recent months wasn’t the same person she’d met in the park that day in April; his arrogance had been tempered by caring, his indifference to her wishes turning into a desire to make her happy. He loved her, of that Mia had no doubt now. He loved her with the same intensity, the same desperation as she loved him.
As the present and the past were joined, so too were Mia’s feelings and emotions. Everything she had felt before was magnified now, strengthened by the trials and tribulations of the past couple of months.
Opening her eyes, Mia smiled at her K lover.
Chapter 26
Seeing her smile, Korum shuddered with relief. “Mia, my sweet, are you all right?” For the past ten minutes, she had been as stiff as a board, her face pale and even her lips drained of color. She hadn’t reacted to anything, as though she’d been in a coma.
“She’s fine. Right, Mia?” Laira stepped closer, bending down to peer at Mia’s face, and Korum fought the urge to strangle the apprentice. His charl had obviously been in pain, and he knew he would never forgive Laira for that.
“I’m okay now,” Mia said softly, as though understanding his feelings. Lifting her hand, she stroked his cheek, the tender gesture cooling some of his anger.
“Do you remember anything?” Laira’s voice interrupted them again.
“Yes,” Mia said, looking up at her. “I remember everything. Thank you for that.”
She remembered. She remembered everything. Korum felt like he could breathe again, the terrible guilt inside him easing for the first time since he’d learned of Saret’s betrayal.