She hung over the rail to watch him, surprised how comfortable she was growing on the boat. Or perhaps she just knew Matt would rescue her if she fell. She was in no danger from the ocean with him by her side. “Coal isn’t going to stay on there is it?”
He looked up at her, giving her a wink. “Nae, but we’ll get it properly painted when we get back. It’s a good ship that made it through a wicked storm. It deserves a name.” Then, finishing, he tugged on the rope and then men began pulling him up. “And…today is a momentous day.”
“Do you think Blair will mind you naming his ship Bridget?” she asked. She honestly didn’t care. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and it didn’t matter if Blair changed the name later.
Matt hauled himself over the side as the other sailors stepped back, giving them space. “I don’t think he will.” He heaved himself over the side. “He’s already agreed to sell me this one and have another built for his fleet. The sea is in my blood. I don’t want to be without a boat.”
“Thank you,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I love the idea of a boat that sails about being named after me. Free to go wherever she fancies.”
He stared down at her. “Free,” he repeated. “Is that what you really want sweetheart? To be free?” his face drew tight.
She shook her head. “So strange. You didn’t want to marry either.” Words crowded her thoughts and she took her time sorting through him. Wading through each one as he stood holding her hands.
He drew in a deep breath as he squeezed her hands. “I didn’t want to marry. And part of me still wonders if I do Reginald’s memory a disservice.” He looked out over the water. “I honestly thought that if I just keep you safe enough that I’ll be able to marry without always worrying about the loss. But you’re right. That isn’t fair to you.”
She cocked her head to one side. “The fact that you understand that makes me feel so much better. I never expected to be free, I’m not even sure that’s what I want. I like being near you. You make me feel safe and loved…“ She stopped.
His eyes widened but he gave her a small smile. “I do love ye, lass.” Then he leaned down and gave her a small kiss on the lips. Her heart beat wildly as she drew in the scent of him, the taste. “I might have loved ye since that first moment I held ye in my arms.”
“I love you too,” she answered, excitement near bursting from her chest. “I only want to go places with you and do real things and live life. I’ll stay by your side but don’t try to lock me at home to keep me safe. That’s all I need from you, Matt.”
He nodded. “That’s hard for me. I watched my sister trapped on a ledge and my brother die trying to get her off. I don’t like watching the ones I love take risks.” He squeezed her hands. “But we’ll work on it together.”
The first mate cleared his throat behind them. “Are we ready to start the ceremony now, sir?”
“Ready?” he asked, turning back to her.
Love filled her insides. He didn’t just speak for her he asked.
“Ready.”
“Land ho,” the sailor in the eagle’s nest boomed out over the boat. “Land ho!”
All the sailors who had been discreetly standing to the side, sprang into action. A flurry of ropes and snapping cloth roared over the ocean. Matt gave her hands a squeeze. “Be right back.” Then he raced off too leaving her to stand there all alone. What had just happened to her wedding?
Matt raced back to her side, a spy glass in his hand. She saw him raise the instrument to his eye. “It’s Heron Island.” He looked at her, his mouth twisting. “The tide is out now. I can see The Maria.”
“Can we go get my things?” she asked, clutching his arm. This was going to happen. She was going to marry a man who she loved. Who was going to give her love in return and the respect she’d always longed to have.
“I’ll get your things after the next tide cycle,” he said. “We’re getting married, remember?”
Her hand slipped from his arm as the meaning of the statement washed over her. He’d decide when they got them and he’d decide if she came along too. Disappointment stabbed at stomach and she hunched over, her face scrunching. “We’re not.” Then she spun about and started for her room. It was annoyingly frustrating that she could only go as far as her quarters.
* * *
Matt watched her stomp away and let out a grunt of irritation as he followed. Men were giving him sideways glances as he did.
She scrambled down the hatch ladder and he swung down after her, landing with a crash on the boards below. She screamed and turned about. “You frightened me.”
Arms crossing over his chest, he replied.
“And ye just made an ass of me in front of all my men.”
“You made an ass of yourself,” she said, hands coming to her hips. “We literally just discussed you giving me more room to be myself. Not attempting to lock me away and then you issued orders. I wasn’t coming, you were very clear on that and you were not going to the boat now. You would go by yourself later.”
He drew in a long breath, begging the lord above for patience. “We can’t go now. We go when the boat is first exposed. That way we have the maximum amount of time to get goods off the ship.” He ran his hands through his hair. “It may even take multiple tries to get everything off. In addition, I don’t want to risk getting trapped in the hull of the boat under a flood of water as the tide comes back in. It can be a precarious operation.”
“Oh,” her shoulders hunched a little. “That does make sense.” But then they straightened. “And what about informing me I wasn’t coming when I said I wanted to. Isn’t that exactly what we’ve discussed?”