“Of course you do,” Tricia gave her a glowing smile. “I am here for you if you need me. Come back anytime.”
Ella stood and as Tricia stood too, she wrapped mother and child in a hug. “Thank you for everything. You are truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”
“And you deserve Matthew.” Tricia gave her a meaningful stare. “It’s hidden behind every word that you don’t think you do, but I am telling you that no one would be better for him then you.”
Gratitude bubbled inside her but she said no more as she hurried out the door to return to the inn. She had to speak with Matthew before she lost her chance.
Matthew spent the next hour talking with various shipping companies about possible ships that could transport him and Ella to Barbados. There were no immediate departures and as winter was setting in, there was no guarantee that the ships would arrive back in time. The crossing was more volatile this time of year and more fraught with delays.
Instead, he made an appointment with the bishop to attain a special license and then returned to the inn, anxious to see Ella again. He wanted to hold her in his arms as he hadn’t been able to do all day. He wanted her to help make a plan for their future and for finding Camille.
He arrived back at the Inn and bounded up the stairs, but the suite was too quiet and a quick look around, t
old him that Ella wasn’t there.
Fear once again knotted in his chest.
Had she been to see Lord Michaels again?
A noise behind him made him turn and there she was in the doorway. “Where have you been?” It came out harsh, and jagged.
She winced but then straightened her shoulders. “Where were you this morning?”
“What?” Her question threw him completely off guard. It wasn’t often someone demanded him to account for his whereabouts.
“You heard me, I want to know where you were this morning.”
“I asked you first.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
She moved into the room and closed the door. “Fine. I went to see Tricia.”
“To parlay with Lord Michaels?” The accusation fell from his lips before he could hold it back.
“Don’t be ridiculous. To ask for a position. You’re leaving. I needed to secure some future for myself.”
He reared his head back in surprise. Did he believe her? The answer, honestly, was yes. “You’re not going to meet Michaels’s family?”
“No, of course not.” Her spine stiffened. “I shared myself with you last night why would I be…parlaying with Lord Michaels?”
He shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts. “Exactly. You shared your bed with me last night. Why would you be seeking a position?”
She huffed a breath. “You are going to Barbados!”
“We are going to Barbados. And most likely, not until the spring.”
“We,” she whispered. He saw her clutch at her midsection, her eyes blinking rapidly and then she stumbled to the settee. He met her there and eased down onto the plush fabric wrapping his arms about her and pulling her close. “You said I, at The Kicking Horse. You said ‘I am going to Barbados’ and you were angry at me this morning and…” she stopped speaking as her gaze searched his face.
He might have jumped back up if she weren’t in his lap because his folly was beginning to become clear. “I meant we, my love. I am so sorry. I don’t want to go anywhere you don’t go.”
“My love?” She looked into his eyes then. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course I do. I meant it when I said it last night too.”
“But you didn’t say it last night and I thought it was because you didn’t feel it.” Her words were so soft he might have missed them if her mouth was not so close to his.
Bloody hell, he had been about to muck this up again. “Ella.” He brushed her lips with his. “I have to confess, I am not very good at expressing affection. I would like to apologize by explaining that I received so little, I am not sure I ever learned how. It drove Camille away, I am sure of it. Maybe even Sarah, I’ll never know. But if you’ll take some time to teach me how to share my affection, I promise to give you all the love I have.”
“Really?” He heard her choke. “Of course I want your love. However…” she paused her mouth turning down. “However you want to give it.”