Just thinking about him leaving makes me sad. Sadder than it should, considering that we barely know each other. Blowing out an agitated breath, I push off the wall and force a carefree expression onto my face. Even fifteen-year-old Lizzie knows when something is bothering me, and I can’t afford for her to figure out what it is.
“How are you two doing in here?” I ask as I walk into the bedroom and lean against the bathroom door. Lizzie jumps to her feet, an excited smile on her face.
“Is Blake your boyfriend? He is sooo cute!” she gushes. Before I can shake my head or voice a denial, she continues, “And super nice too! If he isn’t your boyfriend you need to lock that down before someone else does, sis!”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Liz,” I tell her, shaking my head when she rolls her eyes muttering, you’re so lame under her breath as she turns back to Auggie in the tub.
“Whatever,” I grumble, leaving them to finish bath time. I guess I just need to bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns, or whatever stupid idiom I can think of and get Blake out of here before everyone gets the wrong impression about us. It’s bad enough that Lizzie already has one, I need to nip this in the bud before Mama does, too.
Even though I know that Mama and Lizzy will get over whatever they may be thinking, it’s me I’m worried about. Of everyone that I could start to catch feelings for, why did it have to be someone who I know is going to leave? I need to get him out of my house and out of my head before I start fooling myself into believing that I can have him when I know it’s impossible. If I was the type to have a fling I would jump into one with him wholeheartedly, but I’m a forever sort of gal and I’m not going to break my own heart by starting something with a man I know can’t be my forever.
I can hear Mama’s laughter before I’m even halfway down the hall and my shoulders slump. It’s been a long time since we have had this much levity in our house. The kitchen is tidy when I reenter, Mama and Blake sitting at the table with coffee cups in hand. There’s another, half-eaten empanada on the plate in front of him and a big smile on his face and the leg I’ve noticed him favoring from time to time is stretched out under the table.
“Elinor, you’re back,” Mama says. You’d think that I’d been gone for hours instead of just five minutes.
“Yep.” Crossing to the coffee pot I fill a mug and top it off with cream and sugar until it’s a pale tan color, just the way I like it.
“Blake was just telling me that Mr. Cerelli asked him and his partner to stay on at the casino for a while. Isn’t that great?” Blake smiles into my eyes and I can’t stop my own grin as relief pours through me. Maybe there’s a chance after all...
Lowering myself into one of the empty chairs I try to act nonchalant, “That’s nice. How long will you be here?”
The corner of his mouth twitches like he’s holding back a bigger smile, or a laugh, and he reaches up one hand to rub the back of his neck. “We aren’t sure yet,” he says. “Probably quite a while since Xavier has asked us to not only evaluate security at the casino but train the security staff and implement the recommended changes. Travis wants to relocate permanently.”
“That sounds complicated.” I say. My heart is racing with excitement even though he didn’t say he is going to stay. Travis is his business partner, so maybe that means he’s planning on staying too.
“It’s fun.” He says, leaning an elbow on the table and taking a bite of his dessert, chewing thoughtfully.
“Fun?” I can’t stop the giggle that breaks loose, in part because he thinks work is fun, but mostly because I can’t contain the hopeful happiness growing inside me.
“Yeah, it means I get to set up a whole new security system. Cameras, facial recognition, alarm systems.” His voice is rich with excitement, he clearly loves his job. What would it feel like to be able to feel that way about work? I felt like that when I was in college. I’ve never wanted anything other than to be a teacher and losing that dream was a bitter pill to swallow, but I can’t feel anything but happy for him that he gets to live his dream.
“That sounds like a big job.” I offer, not really knowing what that entails, but impressed just the same.
“It is, but it’s not just me. Travis will do a lot of the hands-on training with Xavier’s staff; I’ll do computer upgrades and training. Between the two of us we have all the bases covered and any members of our team who want to relocate will be welcome, but it won’t be required. We have other offices.”
“That’s exciting. Will there be changes for everyone?” I ask wondering if the changes he’s talking about will impact the housekeeping department.
He nods, sipping his coffee. Before he says anything else Mama speaks up, “I’m going to go check on Lizzy and Auggie and then log on and get some work done.”
“Good night, Mama.” I say, as she gets up from her chair and kisses the top of my head before putting her cup in the sink.
“Good night, Beatriz,” Blake says, rising from his seat, “Thank you for dinner and your hospitality.”
I sigh internally at his good manners, crushing on him a little harder. Mama steps close, enfolding him in her arms for the second time tonight and pulling his face down so that she can kiss his cheek.
“You are welcome here an
ytime, mi hijo.” My boy, she called him. His arms slowly wrap around her, returning her embrace for a long minute before she releases him and softly pats his cheek. “Come back and see us soon,” she urges, before quietly exiting the room.
Blake drops back down in the chair. “Your mom…” he says, his voice filled with emotion and I think about what he told us about growing up in the system.
“She’s pretty great.” I offer, filling the silence. “After we lost dad, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Lizzie had just gotten married, so she wasn’t here and for the first time in my life I was alone.” I’ve never told anyone that before.
“I’m glad that you all have each other.” His voice is quiet, the look in his impossibly green eyes soft with longing as they meet mine across the table. I chew on my lip, wanting nothing more than to hold him and give him the love I get the feeling he has missed out on his whole life.
“We’ve gotten each other through some bad times,” I agree, appreciating that he doesn’t ask any questions about how we lost dad. Talking about one family tragedy was enough for tonight. “Would you like to sit out on the patio?” I ask impulsively, pointing to the back door, no longer ready for him to go. Our back yard has been Mama’s pride and joy for as long as I can remember.
Blake nods and stands, gathering up our cups and his plate and taking them to the sink. I cross to the fridge and pull the door open, peering inside.