She drew a jagged breath. She couldn’t bear the waiting, whatever pain lay in store. She pulled his hand from between her thighs and plunged down.
As she took him full length, she screamed. He was so big, she felt he invaded her right to the womb. Blind, trembling, fighting the urge to cry, she buried her face in his shoulder.
“Diana, Diana,” he murmured, brushing her hair back from her damp face with one shaking hand. “It’s all right.”
She didn’t want his tenderness, but she couldn’t summon the will to reject it. She panted, praying for the agony to fade. Perhaps in the years since William had died, she’d become malformed. Sex had never hurt like this.
His fingers, tormenting against the sticky skin of her face, slid around the back of her head. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying,” she said thickly before she realized tears streaked her cheeks.
He kissed the side of her face. Sweet kisses from a different universe to that pulsing presence between her legs. His big, lean body vibrated with tension, and she guessed what effort he exerted to maintain the stillness.
Gradually, the pain receded and her mind scraped into rusty function. Lord Ashcroft became more than just the bearer of a greedy and hurtful masculinity.
What must he make of this?
He couldn’t mistake her discomfort, her lack of enjoyment. She’d enticed him into taking her, then derived no pleasure from the act.
Yet desire still lurked beneath her clumsiness. The admission that, at the end, she wanted Lord Ashcroft was the cruelest cut of all.
Again, she had cause to be grateful for his patience and consideration. Again, she had cause to resent his care. She didn’t want to think of him as anything more than a body that invaded hers.
She knew how aroused he’d been. Still was. Yet he gave her time to adjust to his size. He didn’t thrust and seek his own pleasure. He kissed her as if he extended comfort. As if he understood the devastation that blighted her soul.
Inevitably, the rain of kisses ended at her lips. She tried to evade him, but he held her captive.
The kiss was gentle, brief, undemanding. Her lips tingled from that tantalizing touch. He skated another kiss across her nose and on her chin. Before she could stop herself, she tilted her face.
“You said you didn’t want kisses,” he whispered, tracing lines of kisses along her neck.
She made a disgruntled sound. Her interior muscles loosened a fraction, settling him deeper. This time, thank heavens, there was no pain.
“I don’t,” she whispered back.
“Well, that’s good.” The undercurrent of laughter in his voice bubbled through her blood like champagne.
When his mouth met hers, passion flared. For the first time since the disaster of taking him, she forgot herself and surrendered to feeling. His tongue flickered to tease hers. Last night, he’d tasted of wine and decadence. Today, he tasted of desire and heat.
Delicious.
She shifted to pursue that tormenting, skillful mouth. As she moved, he slid more fully inside her and she felt the first twinge of pleasure. She released a soft, surprised murmur.
He laughed again and kissed her, ravishing her mouth. His hands shifted to her waist and he lifted her slowly so she felt the glide of his body. Her passage clenched to hold him. Friction buzzed through her like lightning.
“No,” she whimpered. She didn’t do this for pleasure. This was nothing more than a union of bodies. Nothing more.
He bit down on the side of her neck, even while he poised at her entrance. “Do you want me to stop?”
She shivered under the nip. “Don’t stop.” Terrifying as it was to admit, his presence made her feel complete, his absence made her feel empty and alone.
He answered with a smooth thrust of his hips. She braced for pain. Instead, after a brief teasing resistance, she took him. Hot pleasure streaked through her, burning away the last hesitation. Her body opened as if it had waited for his possession forever.
A dark flush marked his high, slanted cheekbones. The green gaze was fierce as it roved her features.
Every second, the selfish lover she expected, wanted for her own selfish reasons, moved further out of reach. Instead, here was a man who took care with her, who let her find her own path to paradise with his help.
She closed her eyes, refusing the unwelcome revelations. Immediately in the velvet darkness, sensation cloaked her.