Carefully he withdrew, relishing how she clung to his finger. The promise of being inside her thundered through him like an earthquake. He reached a point where the sheet could no longer ensure restraint.
Diarmid shoved the hampering linen out of the way and settled between her slender thighs. The trust and barely hidden uncertainty in her eyes hit him harder than his discovery of her desire.
“Shall we proceed, lassie?” The question emerged as a growl.
She studied his face as if seeking the answer to some eternal question. He gritted his teeth and told himself that despite bollocks as heavy as cannon balls, he could stop.
He’d limp for a month, but he could stop.
Her courage once again stole his breath—if he had any to steal. Whatever she saw in his face must have reassured her, because she gave a small nod and stretched out her legs. A slight smile fluttered around her lips.
“Yes.”
A long groan of relief escaped him. “Hold onto my shoulders. And bend your knees. It will be easier for you.”
He wished he sounded more like a lover and less like the sergeant major she’d once called him, but stringing any words together was almost beyond him. Urgent hands caught her hips and angled her upward.
He could hardly believe this moment had arrived. Fiona in his bed, willing and ready for his possession.
With a smoothness that set his heart crashing against his ribs, he pushed forward. At first, he met tension, then her body adjusted to take him and with a broken sigh, she accepted his entire length.
His breath escaped in a great whoosh. He buried his head in her shoulder and kissed the damp skin in an ecstasy of thankfulness.
He’d wanted her so long. He’d dreamed about her. But not even his most feverish fantasies came near to the joy of uniting his body with hers. He shifted to settle more deeply.
Through the elation, some shred of care lingered. He raised his head and stared down into her face. Her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were red and swollen with kisses. “Are ye all right?”
Another brave little smile. “Of course.” She softened the prosaic answer with a gentle caress along his jaw. “Are you?”
Despite his urgency, a grunt of laughter emerged. “Och, never better.”
“Good.” She wriggled, a subtle twist of her hips that threatened to take him over the edge.
He groaned and closed his eyes as he fought to master his animal impulses. “If ye do that, lassie, this is going to be a verra short encounter.”
“Oh.” Fiona went still, and her eyes opened very wide.
Her hands tightened on his shoulders, as he began to move in and out. Fiona surrounded him. She was the whole world. Gradually every need faded under the pounding drive for release. Through the hot fog in his mind, Diarmid felt her rise to meet him. Her moans of blossoming pleasure were sweet music.
Every time he thrust, she clenched around him. He wanted her to find her peak before he finished, but he was only flesh and blood and he’d wanted her for so long. Too soon, his deliberate movements turned choppy. His seed rose on an irresistible tide.
Shaking, he kissed her hard on the lips, glorying in her swift response. Then darkness crashed down over him like a thunderclap. He thrust once, twice, then surrendered to a vast swell of sensation as he yielded to her.
The wild rush threatened to shatter him. It was fierce and magnificent and savage. Fiona cried out as he heaved over her, filling her with every drop of his passion.
Finally it was over. He was so exhausted that it was an effort to move to roll over and lie next to her.
He flung one arm across his eyes to close out the world. Self-loathing festered in his gut, souring the lingering pleasure. Because while physically he’d never felt better, his soul was black and sick.
Fiona didn’t speak, although as his heartbeat steadied, he could hear her erratic breathing.
“I’m sorry, lassie,” he muttered, without looking at her.
“Sorry?” she whispered.
“Aye, to the depths of my heart,” he said grimly.
Because he’d broken the promises he’d made to himself when he started. Tonight Diarmid might have discovered an ecstasy to shake the heavens, but Fiona hadn’t joined him on the journey to the stars.