Jane flopped back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Both she and Hugh seemed to find it of surpassing interest. The tumult in her blood gradually subsided, leaving a bitte
r residue of shame.
Not at what they’d done, but at her timidity. And her inability to forget that he wished he lay with someone else.
“I’m sorry, too.” Her voice was almost inaudible. “I shirked my duty.”
His grunt indicated disgust and irritation in equal measure. “I began to hope that there might be more than duty between us.”
“You must try again,” she said, even as something inside her shrank from the idea. “I promised to be your wife in every sense.”
He leaned over her, until she couldn’t avoid those searching dark eyes. “I know you did, but it’s been a long, difficult day, and I wasn’t as…careful as I might have been.”
Her lips tightened, as she steeled herself to venture back into that strange world she’d entered tonight for the first time. “You’re my husband. You have rights over my body.”
Those thick brows lowered over his blade of a nose, and he sat up against the headboard. “Spoken like a right little martyr.”
She flinched. “I don’t know what you want.”
Which wasn’t quite true. She’d recognized his increasing interest. If she’d held her nerve, he’d even now be pushing inside her, and she’d be a virgin no more.
He remained displeased. A displeased King of Olympus was a daunting prospect, especially when only a layer of silk covered his nakedness.
“More than I thought I did, it seems. Those kisses got me devilish excited, Jane.”
She hid another wince, even as some wanton part of her relished his praise. “I didn’t…I didn’t know kissing could be like that.”
He looked shocked. “You’ve never been kissed before?”
“Who would I kiss?” Her lips turned down in self-derision as she sat beside him. She felt at too much of a disadvantage lying flat on her back. “Mr. Jones the bailiff? Billings the butler?”
His disbelief didn’t fade. “I thought perhaps at some assembly or house party.”
“I told you my life has been quiet. Now and again, I went to dinner with the neighbors, but there was never much chance for flirtation.”
“Yet you said you’d had a proposal or two.”
She gave an unamused laugh. “Old men looking for a nurse and a housekeeper. No flirtation was required.”
“What a waste.”
She shrugged, while the lonely years of toil and obligation pressed down and threatened to crush her. “A girl can live without kisses.”
“She shouldn’t have to.” He paused. “I liked kissing you, Jane.”
Heat rose to her cheeks. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“I’m afraid we do.”
She made herself meet that probing gaze. She sought but didn’t find anger or resentment, although given how she’d pulled back, she wouldn’t blame him for feeling either. “I’m willing to do what I must.”
His eyes sharpened on her. “I know you are, but I’d rather you enjoyed this. Especially after those kisses.”
She flung out one hand in an annoyed gesture. “Will you stop harping on about kisses?”
“No. Did you like kissing me, Jane?”
Jane wanted her side of the bed to sink through the floor and take her with it. “You know I did.”