“I’ll like that.” He reached forward to grab her hand. Her touch immediately calmed the currents of disquiet running through him. “You’re the one thing in creation right now that isn’t playing on my nerves. Surely you know that.”
Her blue eyes studied him, as if she sought to discover all his secrets. “No, I didn’t.”
“Well, you should,” he said shortly. “It’s only when I’m alone with you that I feel I can breathe. Every other person in this whole damn world, even God forgive me, my family, makes me feel like I’m suffocating.”
“Robert...”
“At least you don’t expect me to be more than I am.”
“I want you to do and be what you wish. In these last years, you’ve had enough freedom stolen from you.”
“A wife beyond rubies,” he murmured, as outside the coachman steered the horses out of the inn yard. The evening drew in, but the long twilight offered them a couple of hours of travel ahead.
“Well, at least a wife who likes the idea of a farming life.”
“You won’t miss London? You looked completely at home in society when I burst in last night.”
He spoke without resentment. Morwenna was always meant to be his. Garson, sadly for him, was a mere distraction. Although Robert had always loved her, this oneness was new. He’d felt it when he was deep inside her body, but the bond persisted beyond passion.
Although passion certainly shored it up.
He was more than ready to shore it up again, although he couldn’t regret the hours they’d spent talking. He’d almost felt like his former self, discussing things typical couples talked about, and not his extraordinary history of abuse and captivity. But as he caught a faint hint of Morwenna’s scent, his cock rose insistently inside his trousers.
“I’ve enjoyed the time in Town, but it’s not my real life. My real life is Kerenza.” She paused and leveled that thoughtful gaze upon him again. “And you, if you’ll let me make it so.”
“I’d be delighted.” He reached over and pulled down the blinds, plunging the carriage into gloom. He went on as though he hadn’t just shut them into a private space ripe for pleasure. When his wife must know exactly what he planned. “So you’ll think about Devon?”
“Is there anywhere else you’d like to go, anything else you’d like to do? Or is it too soon to ask?”
“I’ve had plenty of time to think about what I want. I’m looking forward to retiring somewhere Arcadian with my lovely wife and my angelic daughter.”
As he’d hoped, his small attempt at humor elicited a laugh. In the shadows, now his vision adjusted, he caught the gleam of her eyes. She watched him steadily, the way he’d watched her when they left London. He’d wondered then how long he’d last before he took her into his lap and slid inside her. The idea made his dick twitch with approval.
He went on. “Silas has offered to turn over a wing of Woodley Park. We could stay in Portsmouth, although God knows what employment I’d find. The town must be crawling with captains on half pay, with the country at peace. Or as I’d originally planned, I could use my prize money to buy an estate. If Devon doesn’t appeal to you, we can go somewhere else. But I had a fancy you might like going back to the West Country.”
Robert stopped to draw breath, surprised he’d managed so many words. He’d got out of the habit of talking when he was in prison, where he’d go days without speaking to anyone.
“Let’s see,” she said slowly, clearly considering the options he laid before her. “I’m drawn to a country life. We could try Belleville. If we find the estate unsuitable, we can reconsider our choice. As Silas’s tenants, we can move easily enough.”
“That’s what he said. And if we like it there, he said he’ll sell Belleville to us.”
“How kind he is.”
“He is. Although he warned me the place is in a deuced mess.”
“I’m happy to scrub and clean,” Morwenna said with a hint of wryness. “I don’t come from the same exalted ranks as you do. I’m not afraid of hard work.”
“I hope it won’t come to my wife doubling as the scullery maid. I might be the younger son, but I’m well able to provide for my family.”
My family. How he liked saying that.
He caught the glint of her teeth as she smiled. “What a lot you’ve accomplished in the short time you’ve been back. I’m in awe.”
So was he. Last night he’d lurched into that party like a monster into a feast. He’d looked like a beggar and felt like a ghost. Here he was a mere day later, dressed like a gentleman, on his way to see his daughter, and with the o
utline of a workable future beginning to appear before him.
A week ago, he wouldn’t have believed it.