“Was it as bad as that?”
“It was.” Caroline’s lips firmed with annoyance. What right had Silas to lay down the law? If she wanted a tyrant running her life, she’d damn well marry again. “And dashing widows don’t hang back gossiping with their friends when they’ve been bold enough to arrange a rendezvous with a lover.”
“West isn’t your lover.”
“Not yet. But despite what Silas says, I think he could very well be. When I listed my requirements in a paramour, I could have been describing West.”
“Good God, Caro, taking a lover isn’t like shopping for a new bonnet.”
“Isn’t it?” Caroline studied West. Silas had caught up with him and was managing a civil conversation despite his dire warnings to her. “So far, I’d say it’s exactly like that. The latest fashion? Yes. Becoming to wear in public? Yes. Likely to raise the envy of other ladies? Yes. Comfortable to put on? Yes.”
“If you say just the right size, you really will make me blush,” Helena said on a gurgle of laughter.
Caroline was the one who blushed. “In truth, I’m woefully out of the way of judging a man’s prowess. I was barely out of the schoolroom when I married Freddie and he was never the most passionate of husbands. Not to mention he was ill for the last three years of his life.”
Helena’s eyes softened. “You feel you’ve missed out on something.”
Caroline’s smile was cocky. “I know I have.”
“West is the man to supply the lack?”
“I sincerely hope so. Let’s hope he finds me equally appealing. After all, I’m not nearly as sophisticated as the women he’s used to.”
Helena’s gaze was searching. “You’re a diamond compared to the hussies he usually pursues. He’d be a fool not to follow up on your overtures.”
“Thank you.” Caroline reached across to squeeze one of Helena’s gloved hands, lying loosely on the reins and keeping the behemoth of a horse as mellow as a sleepy lapdog. “I just need to keep my nerve. I’ve spent far too long waiting for life to happen to me. It’s time I took control of my destiny.”
Helena didn’t smile back. “And that destiny is Vernon Grange?”
“For a month or two, anyway,” she said casually.
Unwilling to answer any more questions or to reveal that her worldly attitude was totally manufactured, Caroline urged her mare forward until she rode beside the man she set out to seduce.
Chapter Three
At the Oldhams’ ball, Caroline waltzed with Lord West. She should be pleased with how their acquaintance had progressed in the fortnight since their ride in Hyde Park. At the events they attended, he always made a point of singling her out for a conversation and danced with her twice—more often would set tongues wagging. That pleased her, too. She might intend to take a lover, but she wanted to be discreet about it.
The Oldhams had hired the same orchestra that Caroline had imported for her ball, which as she had hoped was the year’s most talked-about event. Unfortunately the lilting music might as well have been a band of rusty shovels banging together, for all the attention she paid it.
“Lady Beaumont, you seem distracted. Would you like to sit down and I’ll fetch you a glass of champagne?” West asked.
She stared up into his handsome face and told herself she should relish being his chosen partner. She’d intercepted enough envious glances from the other ladies to know he’d have no trouble replacing her.
Perhaps that was the problem. He danced with her because she was an acclaimed success. She danced with him because he matched the cardboard cutout lover she’d created in her mind during her lonely year of mourning. For all their mutual amity, neither felt a scrap of genuine affinity. Dancing in his arms was, frankly, less thrilling than holding Silas’s hand at the opera the other night.
She bolstered failing resolution. Once she’d given herself to West, these corrosive doubts would disappear. It was natural that she hesitated on the brink of action. She’d only ever slept with one man. If she could bring herself to seduce West, she’d finally escape the prison of her past. But if she lost her nerve now, she feared she’d never find the courage to lead the daring, exciting life she’d always longed for.
“Lady Beaumont?”
She must be gaping at him like a moonling. At this rate, he’d seek more amusing company. And she’d know her brave claim to be a dashing widow was nothing more than hot air. She couldn’t bear to revert to the subdued, provincial woman who had arrived in London more than a year ago. She raised her chin and met his eyes. One thing at least needed to change. No red-blooded rake bedded a woman he called Lady Beaumont.
“My lord, we’ve gone beyond formalities. Please call me Caroline.”
His startled reaction was discouraging—and unexpected. Perhaps he wasn’t as awake to her naughty intentions as she imagined. “I’d be honored.”
She waited for him to extend the same courtesy, but instead he began to outline his plans for the rest of the week. Caroline berated herself for drifting off again. After all, he was ensuring that they’d meet. That confirmed his interest. She reminded herself again that any woman would be proud to call this man her lover.
Whatever Silas thought of her plans.