Page 8 of Losing Control

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‘He was a better man than you’ll ever know or understand.’

Her soft-spoken words cut deep, her meaning clear.

‘Of course.’ The words thrum out of me. ‘I couldn’t possibly know because I wouldn’t know what it takes to be a truly good man.’

I raise a brow at her in challenge. I want her to refute it, tell me I’m wrong...

‘Yes.’

The simple syllable vibrates with budding fury, making her affirmation all the more powerful, and I cling to it. To her honesty. To the fact that t

here is nothing between us any more. Only a mutual hatred that I can use. I need all the hatred I can get to keep my guard up. To resist this crazy pull that won’t quit.

But what right does she have to be angry with me, when all is said and done? She’s the one who betrayed me. Yes, I walked away—but I came back for her. She was the one who moved on. With my brother, of all people.

‘And you think I should’ve just rolled over and accepted your relationship with him, the better man?’

She looks at me and I see her anger waver.

‘Don’t hesitate now, Alexa. You’ve stuck the boot in—you might as well keep on going.’

‘I didn’t... I don’t...’

‘You don’t what?’

She says nothing, and my patience for this conversation is over. I never should’ve let it start in the first place.

‘I’m sorry if you find me critical of your marriage to my brother but, given the circumstances, I would have thought it understandable. Even for someone like you.’

‘Someone like me?’

‘Did the affair start before I left? Or did you wait until a few days after I left?’

Her hands clench and her cheeks flare. ‘We never had an affair.’

I pocket my fists and ignore the way my gut writhes at the idea, at the conjured-up images of the two of them together that I don’t want to see and am powerless to prevent.

Maybe this is what I need.

Answers to the past before I can move on.

We’re going to be working together—that’s a given. My mother has already handed over my father’s shares, and Alexa can’t change the fact that we’ll be equals as far as this business is concerned. I’ll need my head clear to do what’s needed, what’s right for the company. Not enshrouded in anger, jealousy...intolerable desire.

‘We didn’t have an affair, Cain.’

‘So you say.’

She shakes her head. Her cheeks are streaked with colour. She looks guilty as sin to me. It should make me despise her, but instead I’m thinking of how much she looks like she used to in my bed—the same colour in her cheeks, her eyes bright, her hair wild about her bare shoulders as she called out my name in sheer ecstasy.

Fuck.

I ram the thought out of my mind. It has no place in the present. It was so long ago. But I have no control over my dreams and they’ve teased me with it far too often.

‘You only have yourself to blame for all this.’

She declares it as fact and I let out a harsh laugh—more to fend off the unwelcome heat plaguing my veins than at her words.

‘You were the one who left, Cain.’


Tags: Rachael Stewart Romance