‘Sophia?’ he tried again as she reached the sofa and lifted her glass from the table.
Slowly she took a sip and turned to look at him. The fire was no longer lit and the room was dark save for a solitary lamp and it cast a shadow over her face and made her look...sad.
He’d seen her look many things this holiday but that wasn’t one of them. ‘What is it?’
She shook her head and gave a small laugh, but it was shaky, unsteady. ‘I don’t know where to start.’
‘You can tell me anything...’ He stepped closer, pausing when he was a stride away. ‘Is it me? Is it what Lily said?’
‘It was your reaction when she said it...’ She took a breath and it shuddered out of her. ‘Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to come and go from her life like she doesn’t mean anything to me.’
‘I don’t want you to either.’
‘But I will if this, whatever this is, doesn’t work out.’
‘Do you want us to work out?’
She gave a gentle sigh. ‘How can you ask me that?’
‘It’s a simple question, Sophia. Do you want there to be a you and me?’
She wet her lips, her eyes dark in the low light and glistening now. ‘I’m a realist, Jack. It doesn’t matter how swept away I get by you, by Lily, by all this...’ She fluttered a hand around her. ‘I can’t help but think it will all get taken away.’
‘It won’t if we don’t want it to.’
‘But your face when Lily asked...when she asked about me being...you know...’
He shook his head, one hand reaching out for her, his palm soft upon her cheek. ‘I felt guilty. I told you before I couldn’t love Elena, not as she wanted me to, and she was her mother. She, of all people...’
He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He’d never admitted so much to another person, never made himself vulnerable in this way before, but he knew he owed her this. The truth.
He opened his eyes and cupped her other cheek, cradling her face in his palms as he stepped forward to close the remaining distance between them. ‘But you, Sophia, you make me feel that way.’
Her eyes shone up at him, her lips parting on an unspoken thought.
‘When I’m not with you I think of you,’ he whispered, ‘and when I am I feel like I’ve come home, that I’m where I belong. I’ve never known the kind of happiness I’ve found by your side.’
‘But...’ She shook her head, the move so small he barely felt it. ‘What are you saying, Jack?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ He searched her eyes for what he wanted to see, desperately hoping she felt the same.
‘No...’
‘I’m in love with you, Sophia.’
She inhaled softly, her lashes fluttering as emotions flickered in the wide pools of her blue eyes, their colour so mesmerising, so familiar now that he could close his eyes and still they would be there, ingrained in his memory.
‘And though it makes me feel guilty and vulnerable and in all manner of ways uncomfortable, I can’t deny that I love you.’
‘Is this really happening?’ She trembled in his hands, her voice hushed.
‘Believe it.’ He kissed her, wanting her to feel it, wanting her to take his words and claim them for her own. ‘Please believe it.’
He scooped her up in his arms, pressing another kiss to her lips. ‘Let me show you how much I love you...’
He walked her to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Her eyes were unblinking as they followed him around the room, closing the door, turning the lights down low and stripping away his clothes.
‘Jack...’