His eyes were so serious now as they blazed into hers. The ‘too’ spoke volumes; it told him that fear protected her own heart, but did it protect his, as well?
‘That’s not the whole truth, is it?’ he pressed, probing for more, probing for her to admit that she feared being faced with her past. All it took was one harmless-looking snowflake, the ice forming over her windshield, and the shivers would start.
‘It’s enough.’
He shook his head, one hand stroking her cheek and catching a tear she hadn’t known was there. ‘You need to stop living in fear of your past, Sophia.’
He kissed her to soften his words and she clamped her eyes shut over the rising swell of emotion within. ‘You’ve taught me that; you’ve made me realise that avoiding a base, avoiding London, is running from it. And by doing it, Lily has suffered.’
She kept her eyes closed as the tears refused to stop. He was right. She’d been a hypocrite to tell him the same and not realise it was exactly how she’d been behaving all along.
‘Come with us. Not because I ask you, not because it would make Lily happy to have you there... Come because you want to. Come because you are ready to move on from it.’
She nodded, her eyes still clamped shut.
‘Look at me, Sophia.’
Slowly she did as he asked, her hands coming up to gently stroke his back. ‘Come because you want to be with us.’
She wet her lips as she stared up into his eyes. She saw so much—so much that she could almost believe, almost convince herself that it wasn’t just her falling hard and fast. It was him too. And that was what had her kissing him so hard that she could barely breathe and he reciprocated, his arms slipping around her as he rolled her on top of him.
He pressed her away just long enough to ask, ‘Is that a yes?’
‘Yes, Jack, it’s a yes.’
* * *
He didn’t know what to think, didn’t know how to be rational about this, to talk himself down from what he was about to do. The truth was he wasn’t capable of clear thought. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone, and it felt so right, so natural, so impossible to resist.
He rolled her back underneath him and kissed her, the emotion taking hold of his heart and driving every move he made. He was caught up in her, in what she brought to both him and Lily. And he wanted more. More sense of family, of belonging. He could feel the shift underway inside him, the beginnings of hope for a future, the possibility that maybe he could love her as she deserved and accept such love in return.
That was why he’d pleaded with her to come to Iceland. He knew the magnitude of what it meant for her personally to face her fear, and he knew he wanted to be right by her side when she took that leap.
He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew that this was what they both wanted.
He deepened his kiss, one hand smoothing down her front to find the button of her jeans as his other stroked through her hair. He stripped her layer by layer, himself too, with the sense that it wasn’t just their bodies being exposed but their hearts too.
You do this and you can’t go back. You do this and you’re promising more.
He bowed his head, his eyes shut tightly against her naked beauty. ‘Sophia...’
He dragged in air, fighting for control over his desire. She answered him with her hands in his hair pulling him to her lips, her bare legs wrapping around his lower body, urging him closer. ‘Please, Jack.’
He could hear the lust thickening her voice, the lust and so much more...
‘Jack?’
He lifted his head, opened his eyes to see hers glistening back at him in the low light of the TV and his heart pulsed in his chest.
‘Are you sure? There can be no going back, no...’
She released his hair, smoothing her palms around to his cheeks. ‘Yes, Jack, I want it to be you.’
His breath rasped out of him, a bittersweet happiness choking up his throat. He moved away to seek out his jeans, his wallet, and the protection he had there. He took it out, sheathing himself, all the while feeling her eyes on him, the strength of her need, the sense that this was right, that this was what they both wanted keeping him moving.
He came back to her, their gazes locked together, a thousand words passing between them as he moved slowly, merging their bodies, surrounding himself in her. He wanted to say so much, promise so much...but it was all he could do to control this, to keep it slow.
He felt her resistance, felt her stiffen beneath him and the tension locking her legs tightly around him. He stilled, sweeping his hand over her hair, his nose brushing against hers as he whispered, ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’