‘Do you date often then?’ The question came out smoothly, controlled, just as she’d hoped, but his sudden frown had her worrying she’d overstepped.
‘No.’
It was abrupt, severe. Was he thinking of his wife again?
In the car she’d felt his grief, seen it echoed back at her when she’d told him things she’d never told another soul because she’d been powerless to stop the words from flowing. She’d felt the connection, the understanding, the ability to let go of it just a little with someone who had also loved and lost.
‘Not a lot anyway. I don’t really have the time,’ he added, softer now. ‘Work takes up most of it, Lily the rest.’
Her heart eased a little, her smile lifting with it. ‘I can believe it.’
‘What about you?’ He held her eye, the candlelight flickering in the darkened depths of his, making her forget how to breathe, how to blink, his attention making her feel almost drunk with it.
‘Me?’ She was stalling but, despite how much she’d already opened up to him, she wasn’t ready to confess the sorry state of her love life. Not that she’d ever considered it ‘sorry’ before...
‘Yes,’ he pressed. ‘You’re beautiful, intelligent, quite the catch. I’m sure you must get invited out often.’
Beautiful. Intelligent. Quite the catch.
Now she laughed, her head shaking incredulously as she covered her mouth with her hand. ‘You, Mr McGregor, really are a charmer.’
‘I only speak the truth.’
Did he? Was that really how he saw her?
She didn’t like the way her body reacted to the idea. No, correction. She loved how her body reacted, and that was the problem.
‘Sorry. I’ve made you uncomfortable.’
Was she really that obvious? Or did he just have a knack for reading her?
‘You haven’t. Or, rather, you have, but it’s not your fault,’ she assured him, taking up her wine glass for a confidence-boosting gulp. She had no need to lie. It wasn’t as if she was there to impress him. And soon he would be gone, and she would be forgotten, so she might as well be honest. ‘Truth is, I’ve never dated.’
His eyes widened, his shock permeating the air and making her cheeks burn anew in spite of her confident mental reasoning seconds before.
‘Never?’
She shook her head.
‘I take it you’ve always been in relationships instead. Friends that became more?’
His voice drifted off at the continued shaking of her head.
‘No...relationships?’
She swallowed another sip of wine, knowing full well that her skin likely matched the blazing colour of her hair now. And she could hardly backtrack; she’d already said too much.
‘I’ve always worked hard,’ she tried to explain, grateful that her voice was level enough, her eyes still fixed on his, ‘whether it was studying for exams at school, university or pushing my career, and I haven’t had the time for it.’
‘But...there must have been someone...at some point?’
She shook her head. ‘You can consider yourself my first date—date-that’s-not-a-date,’ she swiftly added.
He studied her for so long, his face unreadable and, boy, was she trying. He was probably assessing her V plates right now and labelling her as some kind of freak.
‘It’s not that weird, surely?’ She took another swig of wine. ‘It’s no
t like I’ve sprouted three heads.’