He took her hand in his. “We tried two years ago, and as much as we cared about each other, we knew deep inside that it really wasn’t working.” And it never would, especially after he owned up to what he’d done.
“I know that was largely my fault. I should have handled things better. I never intended to jump right into the Dom-sub stuff with you, but that first time when I asked you if you liked dominant men, you got so excited, and that excited me. I jumped into it right away. And you seemed to enjoy it so much. But I pushed you too fast and too far.”
He drew in a deep breath. He should have talked to her about this long ago. Maybe if he had when they’d still been together, he could have done something about it. Maybe he could have salvaged their relationship.
She gazed at him with hope shining in her eyes. “I know I said I was apprehensive about my submissive nature with you, but maybe we can work it out. After losing you for two years, then finding you again … after feeling the magic we have together. I just think it’s worth a try.”
“No, Kate. Trust me, it just won’t work.”
From the disappointment in her eyes, he knew she thought he just didn’t want her anymore and he had to use iron will not to pull her into his arms. But that would be wrong. It would only hurt her in the end.
“Now, as I said, I have something to tell you. It has to do with Ileana.”
The Arrangement
Kate steeled herself for what was to come. “What is it?”
“You know I met her because she’d done some legal work for a charity I’d been involved with. We had a few lunches together to talk about details and found we had some similar interests.”
He’d told Kate a little about this before they’d gone to Ileana’s party, so Kate knew he was referring to their common interest in the BDSM lifestyle.
“She and I became casual friends, and when she invited us to her party, I had thought it would be a great way for you to meet others in the lifestyle.”
Kate nodded. “I remember.”
“Yes, of course. The thing is, later it became clear that she wanted us to be more than friends. Since you and I were in a relationship, she must have seen this as an opportunity to get you out of the way.”
Shock seeped through her. “Are you saying that she did what she did to scare me off?”
“I’m really sorry, Kate. I had no idea she’d do such a thing.”
Her chest tightened. “So, did you date her?”
He sighed deeply. “Yes, briefly. After you and I broke up, she ensured she was conveniently around to console me.” He squeezed her hand in his. “And I missed you so much.”
Pain tore at his voice.
Kate’s heart ached at the thought of Ileana holding Matt close, whispering soft words of comfort in his ear. Then that comfort turning to passion.
The thought of that witch taking Kate’s man—pleasuring him and making love to him—made Kate ill.
Matt covered her hand with his, and the comforting warmth calmed her.
“I know you must hate me.”
Her gaze darted to his face. “Hate you?” She rested her hand on his cheek. “Matt, I could never hate you.”
* * *
As Matt
gazed into her warm and loving eyes, he couldn’t believe she was willing to forgive him for being with Illy after what the woman had done to Kate. He had expected to see hatred in her eyes.
He knew he should take this opportunity and tell her the rest, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to see her trusting look wither and die completely. Not yet.
And it wouldn’t be fair to her. Because at least now she would accept his financial help to get her company on track again. If he told her everything now, she would probably walk away. Or more likely run.
They sat in silence for a while, both wrapped in their own thoughts, as the miles passed them by.