“Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that pleasant memory. But we’re talking about you. And the mistake you’re making, thinking this is so good you have to get rid of it because it can’t be real.” Jenna rested a hand on Morgan’s arm and gave it a firm shake. “What you have with Evan, it’s real. And you can have it this good. I know you’ve gone out with some losers. I know you’ve had some bad relationships in the past, we all have. But when it’s this great, this right, you can’t let it pass you by.”
As Jenna’s words sank in, Morgan blinked back the tears that threatened. Could it be real? Could Evan really be the man for her? “This happened to me before, you know. Years ago, right before I graduated college. I met a guy, we fell madly in love and moved in together within a couple of months.”
“And it ended badly?”
Morgan nodded. “Terrible. One day he came home from work and said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Asked me to move out since he got the apartment in his name only. I was such an idiot. I thought he was the one.”
“How old were you?”
“I was twenty-two, he was twenty-five.” Morgan paused, the memories hitting her, one after another. “He married someone else within nine months of dumping me. I think they’re still together.”
“It wasn’t meant to be between you two.” Jenna made it sound so easy.
“Yeah, but I thought it was. What if I’m fooling myself? What if he comes home one day and tells me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”
“Kind of like what you did to him? Were you trying to beat him to the punch?”
Morgan was stunned silent. Maybe she did try and beat him to the punch. What was wrong with her? Was she some sort of relationship saboteur?
“I don’t know.” She sounded like she wanted to cry. She felt like she was going to cry too.
“You were younger. We’re all stupid when we’re young and think we’re in love. Be glad you didn’t end up with that guy. He wasn’t for you.” Jenna squeezed her arm. “I think Evan is the one for you. But you have to be open to it. You have to let it happen and see where it takes you. Sometimes, with love, you need to take a risk.”
A risk. Love and relationships were most definitely risky and she had always erred on the side of caution. And maybe that’s where she’d made the mistake. She’d thrown out all her inhibitions the night she first went out with Evan. And she’d definitely thrown them out the night they’d had sex the first time. A shiver went down her spine every time she thought of how he’d taken her from behind. So deliciously primal, so wickedly amazing it had been. She’d forgotten about feeling fat or embarrassed or afraid of what he might think of her. She’d just…felt.
And never been freer.
“You should call him again. Tell him you want to talk to him. Spill your heart out to him and beg him to call you back.”
“I refuse to beg.” Morgan crossed her arms in front of her chest. Well, she might beg if she got desperate enough.
“You know what I mean.” Jenna rolled her eyes and laughed, then immediately grew sober again. “Call him, Morgan. Don’t be afraid to reveal your feelings. I have a feeling he’ll be pretty receptive.”
“Okay.” Morgan pushed away from the table and stood. “I’ll go call him. See you back in the office?”
Jenna nodded and smiled. “Good luck, sweetie. You can do it.”
“Thanks, Jenna. I mean it. I needed the pep talk.” More like the talk of getting some guts.
“Anytime.”
Morgan went outside to the parking lot and sat in her too warm car, staring at her cell phone for endless minutes, gathering courage. It was now or never. She needed to reach deep and find the guts to go after what she wanted.
And right now more than anything in the world, she wanted Evan.
Screw it. She dialed his number and yep, it went straight to voicemail. Not that she was surprised. He was on duty most likely and rarely answered his phone. He had a job to do. One that he was very, very good at.
“Hi, Evan, it’s me, Morgan. Um…this is really hard for me to say over the phone but I made a mistake. I miss you. A lot. And I don’t want to lose you again. Could you call me, please? I want to talk to you. See you. Touch you.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Please call me. I don’t want to go another minute not knowing how you feel. Wondering if you’ll ever forgive me for the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. And that’s turning you away. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I swear if I was a little less practical then maybe I would even think that I’m falling in lo—”
The voicemail cut her off and she glared at her phone, not sure if she should be angry or pleased that it ended her speech at such a pivotal moment. She’d been about to confess she was halfway in love with him.
Talk about finding courage. Or she’d straight lost her mind.
Most likely the latter.
Evan hopped out of the truck, his mouth tight, his entire body taut. He mentally prepared for the absolute worst, he always did when faced with a situation like the one looming ahead. It was bad. But this was his job and he’d grit his teeth and get through it. Just like he always did.
His thoughts wandered to Morgan, as they were prone to do. What was she doing, how was she? He hadn’t called her though she’d left him a single, almost breezy sounding voicemail. Hearing her voice had both crushed him and pissed him off. How could she act like it was no big deal, what she’d done to him, to them? But he couldn’t remain angry.