She took a deep breath, calling on the fortitude the silent pep-talk had given her, and said lightly, ‘Back to London?’
‘Don’t be facetious, Sephy, it doesn’t suit you,’ he growled quietly.
‘What do you expect me to do?’ she snapped back swiftly, stung beyond measure. ‘Dissolve into tears? String you along, knowing all the time it could never work? Pretend? Coo and simper like your other women? That’s not my style, Conrad.’
Her words fell into a taut silence, and then he completely took the wind out of her sails—and nearly sank her boat in the process—when he reached out and stroked his hand down the silky smooth skin of her cheek. ‘You think I don’t know that?’ His voice was husky and smoky-soft. ‘One thing I’ve come to know is that I always get the truth from you, even if it’s like a punch in the stomach at times. And honesty deserves honesty. I can’t give you what you deserve, Sephy, but I can’t let go of you either. I won’t let go of you.’
‘That’s so unfair,’ she whispered weakly.
‘Yes, it is,’ he agreed quietly. ‘So…how about if we get to know each other a while, without sex?’
‘What?’ The baldness of the last words had left her gasping.
‘I respect you, Sephy, and I enjoy your company,’ he said evenly, ‘and I haven’t said that to many women. But…I can’t change the way I am. I don’t believe in love and marriage and happy families and I won’t insult you by saying there’s a chance I might change. You say you couldn’t accept anything less in a sexual relationship, so we cut the sex part.’
‘But… I don’t—’ She was floundering; she had to pull herself together. ‘Why?’ she asked shakily. ‘Why would you do that?’ Knowing Conrad, there was a well-thought-out motive behind this.
‘The only way I would want you in my bed is because you want to be there,’ he said coolly. ‘Regardless of what you think, I’m actually not an advocate of casual sex, neither have I ever enticed a woman with lies or my wealth or even the emotion of the moment. When eventually you come to me it will be knowing exactly what you are doing and because you have decided it is what you want too. And I can promise you that as long as we are together I will be faithful. That’s a darn sight more than most men commit to even when they are saying their marriage vows.’ One dark raised eyebrow dared her to disagree.
‘This…this is crazy.’ And dangerous and scary and against every sensible and logical conclusion she had come to regarding Conrad Quentin. ‘What if I say no?’ she asked shakily.
‘Then I’ll make you change your mind,’ he said softly, but with such cold purpose that her eyes opened wide.
‘It will be for nothing; you say you can’t change and neither can I,’ she warned faintly. ‘Not ever.’
‘We’ll see.’ He smiled slowly and she felt her heart pound as the sky-blue eyes crinkled sexily. ‘Not ever is a long, long time, and in the meantime we’ll be having fun. There’s nothing too terrible about that, is there?’
Sephy didn’t know how to answer. She was aware, knowing Conrad as she now did, that he wasn’t joking when he said he would determine to make her change her mind if she said no to this crazy scheme. It would make her a double challenge in his eyes, if nothing else.
And if she said yes? Her heart changed its rhythm into a mad gallop. It would mean a few weeks, maybe months, in his company with no strings attached. Memories. Memories that would have to last her a lifetime. And then when he at last accepted she wasn’t going to sleep with him and they parted, he would at least remember her a little differently from all the rest. The one that got away? She bit on the soft underside of her bottom lip. And she would have to make sure she did get away.
But it was dangerous, too, too dangerous, loving him as she did. And she was the antithesis of his normal choice of female consort. How would she cope with his expectations of sparkling companionship? But then, she didn’t have to.
She stared into the dark lean face wordlessly. The only way he would leave her alone would be when he lost interest. She didn’t have to glitter and shine like all the society beauties he had been used to; she didn’t have to worry that she didn’t have an Armani or a Dior to her name and that she didn’t know all the right people; she didn’t have to try to be anything but herself. Sephy Vincent, with her old-fashioned views about love and marriage, her inexperience, her off-the-peg clothes and average good-looks.
The conclusion of this unlikely affair could only come one way; Conrad’s tenacious, inflexible nature made it so. He had to end it because he didn’t want her any more; she saw it clearly now. She just hoped she had the strength to endure it without giving him her body as well as her heart in the meantime.
‘So, friends, then?’ The smile she gave as she held out her hand was worthy of an Oscar if he did but know it.
‘Not quite friends, Sephy, if you want that total honesty,’ he said drily, his eyes hot as they roamed over her possessively. ‘But I’ll behave…for the time being. How about that?’
It was the best she was going to get, and far more than she could have hoped for that morning when the
roses had arrived.
‘It’s a deal.’
And then, as he took her proffered hand and, instead of shaking it as she had expected, to seal the pact, raised it to his warm firm lips, the thought came that she had possibly just made the worst mistake of her life.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE next few months were bittersweet. Sephy alternated between ecstasy and deep despair at regular intervals, sometimes on the same day, but in it all she sensed she was growing up fast and had left something of the old Sephy behind for ever. And that wasn’t all bad.
It was impossible, as Conrad’s ‘companion’, to avoid the glittering galas and functions his wealth and influence demanded he be at, and the first few times she accompanied him to a première or sat next to a famous personage at some dinner or other she felt totally out of her depth.
But then she discovered that even the most wealthy and well-known people were quite ordinary under their Guccis and sparkling diamonds, and that a ten-thousand-pound frock and jewellery from Cartier didn’t necessarily make a lady.
At first Conrad tried to insist that she take a dress allowance from him for such occasions, but she objected so vehemently he had the good sense to desist. However, Sephy was aware that a man in his position couldn’t have someone at his side who looked badly dressed, and here Maisie turned up trumps.