‘I’m not—’ She stopped abruptly. She was so tense, her muscles ached. Something had to give, and considering he really hadn’t done anything wrong it was her. She forced her vocal cords to form coherent words. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said carefully, ‘I don’t mean to be. This hasn’t been the greatest year and perhaps I just need the Christmas break more than I knew.’
His eyes roamed over her face for a moment, and when he spoke there was no amusement in his smoky voice. ‘I’m sorry too,’ he said very quietly, ‘that it hasn’t been a good year for you. Do you want to talk about it?’
She shrugged in what she hoped was a casual way. ‘I got involved with someone who wasn’t what he seemed, to put it mildly. A couple of days after he proposed, his wife came to see me.’ She pulled a face. ‘Big surprise.’
‘You didn’t know he was married?’ He’d sat up straighter.
‘Of course not,’ she said, shocked.
He nodded. ‘No, of course not,’ he murmured, almost to himself. ‘How long had you been seeing him?’
‘A few months.’ She didn’t want to do this. ‘Still, lucky escape,’ she said with forced lightness. ‘At least I was able to walk away without any messy complications, unlike his wife.’ She turned her head, glancing round the discreetly lit room. ‘This is a lovely place. If the food is as good as the decor, it will be wonderful.’
The rain was beating against the windows of the restaurant but in the womb-like surroundings all was soft music and m
uted conversation, the glass chandeliers overhead, fine linen tablecloths and gleaming silver cutlery and crystal creating an aura of cosseted comfort. Another world.
This time he didn’t allow her to change the conversation so easily. Quietly, he said, ‘Do you still care for him?’
She brushed her hair off her shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. ‘No, not in the least. Within weeks I was quite clear about that, if nothing else. I just couldn’t…’ She paused, amazed her tongue had run away with her.
‘What?’ He leaned forward in his seat, his eyes narrowed.
She swallowed. ‘I couldn’t believe I could be with someone for so long and not suspect anything, not realize it was all false, make-believe. Giles was so plausible, so…’ She shook her head. ‘Big learning curve,’ she said brightly. ‘And what about you? Is there someone back in Canada? Someone special?’
Calm golden eyes held her. ‘No,’ he said.
Rachel reached for her champagne flute and finished the rest of her cocktail. It had been a big mistake to come here with Zac tonight. He was too…Her brain failed to come up with a definition and she set her glass down carefully. Too everything. ‘So what’s the business that’s brought you over to England?’ she asked, when the silence became uncomfortable. ‘If it’s not confidential, of course.’
He’d relaxed back in his seat once more and now he smiled. ‘It’s part business, part pleasure, to be truthful.’
She felt a frisson of something she couldn’t name at the word ‘pleasure’ and hoped desperately the golden eyes hadn’t noticed anything. This really was ridiculous.
‘I’m here to liaise with a large manufacturing group about an advance in new technology—pick their brains, if you will. My father is aware the world is changing fast and the glass industry constantly needs to change with it. He’s something of a visionary, if the truth be known, but he’s rarely wrong. And I liked the idea of coming back to the old country and seeing again where I was born, looking up the old haunts and family too, of course. I haven’t had a holiday for years, so I don’t feel too guilty.’
She returned his smile, hers just a bit shaky, and as the waiter placed their first courses in front of them, she was glad of something to do with her hands. She didn’t want to get to know Zac Lawson, she thought, panic-stricken. It was much too dangerous. He was the type of man it was far better to keep at a safe distance. Like at the other side of the world.
She took her first bite of the smoked salmon and bean salad. The thin strips of fish, cooked beans and salad were enhanced by a mustard dressing and dusting of mozzarella, and her taste buds exploded. ‘This is gorgeous.’ She raised her eyes to see Zac studying her. ‘Absolutely gorgeous.’
‘Just what I was thinking,’ he murmured softly.
Again, it ought to have sounded cheesy but it didn’t, which was more scary than anything else. She took another bite of smoked salmon and wondered again how she had got herself into this mess. Act naturally, she told herself firmly. One of your strengths is being a good communicator, so communicate. Raising her head, she said brightly, ‘I take it you’re intending to be home in time for Christmas? Your business will be finished by then?’
‘Sure thing. Christmas is a time for being where the heart is.’ The tawny eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled.
Nice sentiment—if you knew where your heart was. Oh, stop the cynicism! she thought irritably. ‘It sounds like you’re close to your parents. Any siblings?’
‘Nope, just me. They wanted more but it didn’t happen and they chose not to go down the medical route. I spent lots of time at Jennie’s house during my childhood, though, so I didn’t miss out or get spoilt. What about you? Having two sisters must have been fun. Do you see much of them now you’re in London?’
‘Not a lot,’ she said carefully. ‘My sisters are near in age so they’ve always tended to be a closed unit, more like twins really. They’re married now and live a few doors from each other.’
He nodded. ‘What about your parents?’
‘My father died when I was little more than a baby, I don’t remember him at all. My mother…’ She hesitated. ‘She opened a flower shop after my father’s death and has always worked hard to make it a success, so I didn’t see too much of her. My grandma more or less brought the three of us up, but she died a few years ago after a short illness.’
‘And you miss her,’ he said softly, his eyes intent on her face.
Oh, yes. She dreaded to think of the adult she might have become but for her grandmother. For every negative spoken about her by her mother, her grandma had spoken a loving positive. In the same way she’d always known her mother didn’t like her very much, she’d known she was her grandmother’s favourite and it had been balm to a little girl’s bruised heart. ‘Yes, I miss her,’ she said quietly. More than words could express.