“How did she die?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t hold back, do you?”
She touched his cheek, running her fingers over his morning stubble. “I’ve never had anyone to talk to this way. Nobody ever understands or cares. You can talk to me, too.”
“She had no family, no money. By the time she knew she was sick, she was too far gone. I took care of her, but I was just a fucking kid.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her fingers still on his face. He grabbed her wrist and kissed her pulse point.
“The years of foster care were fucking brutal, but they still weren’t worse than watching her die of lung cancer,” he said. “She didn’t live a good life, but she was my mother.”
“You loved her,” said Riley. “I can’t even imagine what you went through.”
“Her death taught me an important lesson,” he said. “If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll end up the same way. I’ll never let that happen to me.”
She trailed her fingers over his bicep, so hard and cut. “Is that why you work out so much?”
“One of the reasons. I need to keep my body strong—no drugs, no smoking, healthy living.”
“Just because it happened to her, doesn’t mean it will happen to you,” she said. “You can’t live your life in fear.”
He smirked. “I’m not afraid to die, Riley. I risk my life every day in my line of work. I never assume I’ll come home at night. I’m afraid to die the way she did: sick, helpless, pathetic, withering away to nothing knowing there’s not a fucking thing anyone can do to change it.”
She bit her bottom lip. For the first time since meeting him, she’d broken through. She could feel his pain, his sincerity, and she was falling in love.
“You are strong, Shadow.” He’d opened up to her, and the new emotional bond was powerful. She wanted to erase all the pain, to heal him with her love. Maybe he could do the same for her.
“Like you?”
She shrugged. “If we’re being honest, I’m not as strong as I look. I’ve had to be since before I can remember. My mom wasn’t a good woman. She was an addict, so far gone she was ready to sell my body for drugs. Foster care wasn’t much better. I don’t want pity or anything. I just want you to understand.”
He kissed her forehead. “You’d make a great mother,” he said. “You’re nothing like her. You’re smart, ambitious, and sweet.”
Riley smiled. “Why have kids of my own when there are so many like us stuck in the foster system?”
“Makes sense. I know you could make a difference.”
“Have you thought about kids?”
He pushed up onto his hands, looking down on her. “No more questions about me, baby girl. Tell me why you’re alone, why there’s no man in your life.”
“Maybe I’m unlovable,” she said.
“Come on, tell me…”
She swallowed hard. “I want it all, the whole happily ever after. The men I’ve dated wanted sex, not love. They wouldn’t consider settling down with someone like me, anyway.”
“Someone like you?”
Riley rolled her eyes. “I’m fat, Shadow. In case you haven’t noticed. Men don’t care about what you’re like on the inside, not if the outside isn’t perfect,” she said. “I should be asking why you’ve been alone.”
“Because I hadn’t met you yet. And now that I have you, I’m never letting you go.” He still had her hand pinned. Shadow used the strength in his arms to lower himself enough to kiss her neck. His tongue
shelled her ear the sound of his breath soothing her. “You’re perfect, Riley. Fucking gorgeous and perfect.”
“Kiss me,” she said. “Please.”
He released her wrist before brushing his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m not going to lie, I do want you for sex. A lot of fucking sex.” His tongue painted a line along the seam of her lips. “But I want everything. Your body, your mind. Everything.”