“You said it wasn’t the worst thing you’d seen.”
“We’ve gone over this,” she said. “You know I was on the streets between foster care. I don’t want to talk about that time. I don’t even think about it.”
“The cops, they were never on your side?”
“Some of them were okay. Others liked to give protection for a price. You can imagine what that price would be.”
Sex. It was the same old shit. He didn’t like it.
She smiled, and he found it to be such a sad one. He wanted to make her smile and for it to be real. Riley didn’t realize just how familiar he was with her sadness.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“It wasn’t so bad. I got street smart real fast. Others weren’t so lucky. They thought putting out would give them a better life. I was able to get by on my own.” She took a sip of her beer, and he couldn’t look away.
This woman was a fighter. She was strong, fierce, and determined. There was so much to admire about her, and of course, she was attracted to him, which was kind of funny.
“The gym you caught me going to,” he said. He may as well give her a little truth. “I work out there. A lot, actually. It’s got its fair share of broken kids. I’m trying to … mentor a few of them. To show them there’s another way. Violence isn’t always the answer.”
“Maybe it is.”
He looked at her, and she stared intently back at him. Her eyes were so green, even in the dim backyard lighting. “It shouldn’t have to be.”
“Just because we don’t want it to be, doesn’t mean it’s not. Some of the guys were determined to hurt me, to make me afraid. They used violence to try and control me. I used violence to show them I’m not to be messed with.” She looked down at her bottle. “Don’t take this personally, but violence seems to be part of your life. I’m pretty sure the guys around here couldn’t handle a knife or a gun the way you did. Why are you living in the suburbs?”
He wasn’t offended. Violence was his life. He was a contracted killer. Someone designed to take a life without asking a single question.
“I like the fakeness,” he said. “I don’t think that’s even a real word.” He blew out a breath. “Every single person on this street has something to hide, but it’s the American dream. It’s nice to blend into a crowd. To be normal.”
She laughed. “You don’t blend, Shadow. Every person sees you, and there’s no getting away from that.”
“Before you started snooping into my life, I went by undetected quite well.”
“I’ve looked bullshit in the face one too many times. You’ve got it all over you.” She held her hand out, pointing at his body. “I get it, though. We’re not part of this world. They can laugh with each other and in the next breath, stab each other in the back. I’ve never been a fan of that kind of crap. It’s a good thing what you’re doing—trying to show those kids another way. The world needs more of that. Most of the time they get pushed to one side, and no one gives a crap about them.”
He stared at her and knew no one had taken that time with her. She’d been alone in this world. Never part of it, and yet sucked into it by everyone else.
“You’re not alone anymore,” he said.
“I’m always alone, Shadow.” She finished her beer, and handed him back the bottle. “I need to get some rest. Thank you for the drink and the company.”
She went to walk away, but Shadow wasn’t ready for her to be gone. Reaching out, he snagged her wrist, stopping her from going anywhere.
Riley didn’t put up a fight with him. She waited for him to release her.
Standing up, he stepped close to her body. He felt such a rush, a desire he’d never experienced before. She tilted her head back to look at him, and for the longest time, he just stared.
Silence had always been a comfort to him. He could think, plan, and do anything that he put his mind to.
The interest in her gaze was still there. She wanted him, but was holding back.
He was making a mistake. Every second that he was with her, was a second longer than he should be. His life came with a use by date. There were people who’d hunt him down and kill him for the title of being the one to do it.
“Lock your door,” he said. “If you need anything at all, I’ll be here.”
She nodded. Her lips looked so tempting. He wanted to kiss her.
Would it be wrong to give in just this once and to take what he wanted? One kiss and then a second. A fuck, making love, falling in love. It would all happen. Riley had the power to make herself his weakness, and he couldn’t have that. No way. He couldn’t have that at all. He didn’t want to do that to her.