This kid reminded him so much of himself it was unreal.
Already his past was starting to come back full circle. A mother that worked all the time. A lost boy. June didn’t sell her body, so at least his own son didn’t have to see the beatings that the johns gave.
“Your mom is going to be spending a lot of time with you from now on.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m going to be taking care of the both of you. You’ll get to spend every single second with her, and no one will be taking her away from you.”
Killian Junior stared at him. “How do you know my mom?”
“I know her from the past.”
“Yeah, but when? I talked to my mom, and she said you were from a long time ago.”
“I am.” His son was staring at him, assessing him. It was so surreal to know that he helped create this little boy.
“How long?”
“Roughly ten years ago and a few extra months.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m your father, Killian. We even share the same name.”
“We do? Your name’s Killian as well?”
“Yes. My name is Killian. You mother named you after me.”
“Well, where the fuck have you been?” Killian Junior asked. “I’ve been waiting for you since I was five years old.”
“Why five?” he asked.
“I asked for you on the wish of my birthday cake. Those are supposed to come true, and you never came. You never turned up to help my mom, you asshole.”
“Watch your damn language.”
“You don’t deserve my mom, and she should get rid of you.” Killian Junior stormed away from him, and this was not how he expected this to go either.
“I didn’t know about you,” he said, taking hold of his son’s arm. “I know that doesn’t give me the right to demand a second chance, but I’m asking for it.” He was trying to reason with a ten year old. At ten years old, there was no reasoning for him, and now he was fucking everything up. “I didn’t have a dad either, and no one came back to claim me. I want you and your mother. I want to get to know you and to hear everything I’ve missed. Your first day of school. Maybe the first time you tasted chocolate. I want to know every single thing about you. What’s your favorite color? What do you want to be when you grow up? What is the worst thing you’ve done that you’ve been caught for?”
His son looked down at the ground.
“I want to know everything about you, Killian.”
“A lot of the crap they say I did was lies. There was a guy on the force who wanted to date my mom. Told him he didn’t have a chance with my mom. He didn’t like that I was there. I’m only extra baggage.”
Killian didn’t like the jealousy that rushed over him at the thought of anyone else liking his woman. She belonged to him, and only him.
“You’re going to need to w
atch your language. I bet your mother doesn’t like hearing you swear?”
“She doesn’t, but I have to look out for her. If my mom hadn’t overheard that cop telling me I was a waste of space and ruined my mother’s life, she might have dated him, and that guy didn’t deserve her. You don’t deserve her either. You’re never going to be good enough for my mom.”
And that was the truth. Killian didn’t deserve June ten years ago, and he sure as shit didn’t deserve her now.
“I know, but I want to make myself worthy in your eyes, and in your mom’s eyes. Do you think you’ll give me that chance?” he asked.
His son pursed his lips, and then shrugged. “We’ll see. Can’t be any worse than what we’ve already had.”
“Killian!” June shouted.