“Of course. I can’t have her waking up to that. To seeing me that way.”
“Why not?”
Pain cut through me sharper than any bullet from an insurgent’s rifle.
“That night, in Poulson, the first night,” I clarified. “We fell asleep and I had a nightmare. I don’t remember what I was dreaming about exactly, but she woke me. She was shoving me, practically hitting my chest, pounding on it to get my attention. To pull me out of it. When I finally woke up, I was holding her wrist. Hard. I’d grabbed her in my nightmare and wouldn’t let go.”
His eyes narrowed. “You hurt her.”
I nodded once. “Just from the grab. Nothing else. But she had bruises. She made light of it, didn’t care, was more worried about me than her own safety.”
Archer’s face softened then. “That’s our girl.”
I didn’t smile, but I agreed with him. She was too kind-hearted. “It’s my job to worry about her safety. I had to protect her. Even from me.”
“That’s why you called me and Lee to join you.”
I shrugged, remembering the conversation Cricket and I had had. We’d laughed and admitted some of our kinky truths. She’d found out how I liked to dominate and I’d discovered how she’d always wanted to sleep with more than one guy. At the same time.
“I’d never shared before, but if that was what she’d wanted, it was my job as her lover to satisfy her. And it also ensured I wasn’t alone with her if I fell asleep.”
“You’ve been leaving now for her own protection.”
I nodded once.
He sighed. “Shit. Don’t you think she has a right to know, to make the decision for herself?”
A knock came at the door. Archer turned, opened it and stuck his head out. Someone spoke, but I couldn’t hear more than mumbling. I wasn’t paying any attention, instead thinking about Cricket, about how I’d left her hanging.
“I’ll be right there,” Archer told the guy, then closed the door again. “Dude, she didn’t leave us. She went to Missoula for the day. Penny’s with her.”
My head whipped up, looked Archer in the eye. “She didn’t—”
“Fuck no. You think I’d let her go without a fight? That I’d be standing here instead of going after her? That Lee would have gone off to Buffalo whistling Dixie?”
My mouth had fallen open and I snapped it shut. “But she said…shit, she said she was going back to her apartment. I just assumed she was done with me.”
The vise that had been around my heart loosened.
“You need to get your head out of your ass. Now. You will lose her if you don’t. She wants all of you. The good and the bad. She deserves it. She might need your protection, but haven’t you considered the possibility that she might be the one to save you right back?”
“Shit. Shit!” I ran my hand over my neck again.
“Go to Missoula. Tell her the truth. All of it. And bring her back.”
Yes, that’s what I’d do. I’d been an idiot and an asshole. Cricket wasn’t weak. She was strong. She could handle this. Handle me. And if I fucked something up, Archer and Lee would be there to set me straight.
14
CRICKET
* * *
“Jamison sleeps on his back and likes me to lay practically on top of him, as if I could be his blanket,” Penny said as we walked across my apartment comple
x’s parking lot. “Boone likes to tuck me in front of him since he sleeps on his side. I have arms and legs wrapped around me all night long.”
She wasn’t complaining. No, the smile on her face proved she liked this problem. Having two men want to hold her all night long was no crisis. I felt the same way, liked being held as I slept, but something was missing. Someone. Sutton.