I shook my head. “That was the plan, but then we just started arguing. We run so hot together. Every horrible thing that we’d both thought in the last year spilled from our lips. Then, fucking Lewis walked in and carted her out with a sick smile on his lips.”
“Oh, Penn.”
How had it gone so far afield? Kissing her, yelling at her…that hadn’t been my intention at all. But then her lush body had collided with mine. Her fiery eyes had looked up into my own. Those perfect lips had stared up at me. And suddenly, it was a year ago. She was in my arms. I wanted her back. She was mine.
My brain had ceased functioning. All there was, was the moment between getting her alone and pressing her into the door and, god, her lips. She’d said my name like a prayer, and there wasn’t a goddamn thing in this world that could have stopped me from kissing her.
Then, those words. Fuck, where had they even come from? No wonder she’d pushed me away.
And now, she was walking out of the party with Lewis.
He’d kissed her. Put his hands on her. Staked his claim in front of the whole fucking party.
There was no fucking way I was going to let that stand.
“Penn, talk to me.”
“I’m going after them.”
I strode toward the exit with Lark on my heels.
“Is that a good idea?”
I was halfway out the door when Lark’s hand landed on my arm.
“Penn…”
“What?” I snapped. “I have to go stop them. If she goes home with him tonight, we both know what’s going to happen.”
“Penn, you can’t,” she whispered. Lark sounded heartbroken. Her words were raw. Her eyes sad and sympathetic.
“Lark, I have to.”
“You think she’ll accept you like this? After what just happened between you two?” Lark asked. “She chose. You might not like the answer, but tonight, she chose Lewis.”
I cursed violently at the thought. There was no goddamn way I was going to let this happen. “We can fix this,” I pleaded with Lark. “I know we can.”
“Not tonight,” Lark said. “Give her some space. You hurt her, and whether or not you want to see it, Lewis is giving her what she thinks she wants. She’ll figure it out.”
“Lewis is a fucking liar.”
Lark shrugged. We both knew that he was. No point in arguing that.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
I clenched and unclenched my hands. “Yeah well, she spat in my face that I’d fucking slept with half of the Upper East Side. No wonder she had fire in her eyes. Who do you think told her?”
Lark pursed her lips. “Was it supposed to be a secret?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
She held up her hands in surrender. “Everyone knows you did, Penn. All spring, it was a different model, socialite, long-legged beauty. I’m not sure why you’re surprised that Natalie found out.”
“We weren’t even together!” I snapped. “And she’s holding it against me when she was the one who said that we were never going to see each other again. That flying a thousand fucking miles couldn’t change anything.”
“I know,” she whispered. “But look at it through her eyes. She cared for you, and then as soon as you broke up, you slept with every woman who walked past you.”
“Not all of them,” I said carefully, my voice on a razor’s edge. “Not Katherine.”
“Oh boy,” Lark said. She glanced my way and waited. “I assume there’s a story there?”
“Katherine ruined the one thing that was real for me,” Penn said. “So, I fucked a few brainless socialites to piss her off. It was more of a chore than anything. But I was going after Katherine in the best way I could. I picked up each of the dumb friends she associated with and was seen with on Page Six.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re ruthless,” Lark said.
I shook my head. “It was stupid. While it pissed Katherine off, eventually, I just got fucking bored out of my mind and gave up. It did nothing to make me forget Natalie.”
“That’s why you suddenly disappeared off the map this summer? You went from high society to a recluse in a matter of months.”
“Yeah.”
I’d thrown myself into work afterward. Put all of that behind me and tried to focus on research. On writing about how meaningless sex was moral despite the standard view that a relationship made it safer and better. All the while, I was pining for the one person I’d really wanted to have a relationship with. The person who had made me see meaningless sex was never as good as her.
Lark gripped my elbow and veered me into the elevator. We took it downstairs without a word and then out into the late New York night.
I still wanted to race after Natalie. Figure out how to make it right. Break a few of Lewis’s bones. But I’d probably only do more damage than I had. It was hard to think about that when my body was saying, Go, run, fix it.