“All right. But, if this turns out to be a bad idea, I’m blaming you.”
She clapped her hands. “I take full responsibility.”
I withdrew my phone and wrote a text I never thought I would compose.
Hey, I’m at Tilted Glass with Jane. Any interest in meeting us out for a drink?
My stomach was in knots as I hit the Send button. My brain going through all the reasons I shouldn’t have sent that. But then a text came in almost instantaneously, and all the nerves dissolved.
I’d love that. See you soon.
Natalie
11
I had just finished my second martini when I noticed Lewis walking into the bar. Eyes turned to him. He attracted attention by his very presence in that dark gray suit. His black button-up opened at the neck. His eyes found me across the room. A slow smile spread across his face as he sauntered toward me, ignoring the looks that he drew from all sides.
“This was a nice surprise,” he said by way of greeting.
I tipped my martini at him. “You can thank Jane.”
He turned toward Jane and grinned. “I don’t know what you did, but I feel as if I’m going to owe you a favor.”
Jane laughed. “Favors are my favorite currency.”
“I bet,” he said with a grin as he slipped into the seat next to me. “What are we drinking?”
“Dirty martinis,” I informed him.
“As dirty as they come,” Jane said. “I’m trying to convince Kendrick to bartend at my new place, Trinity.”
“I haven’t heard that it’s been green-lighted,” Lewis observed.
Jane shrugged. “Minor kinks. It’ll come through. You’ll be at the opening, yeah?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. Maybe we can convince Natalie here to go with me.”
“When is it?” I asked, a flush tingeing my cheeks.
“December thirteenth. Friday the thirteenth felt lucky,” Jane said with a chuckle.
Kendrick slipped me my third martini and passed one to Lewis, too. I was feeling the side effects pretty strong from the first two. I must have been to even consider going.
“I’ll be back in Charleston.”
“You could fly up for it,” Jane said.
“Or,” Lewis said, “you could just move here.”
I laughed unexpectedly. “I can’t move here.”
“Oh my god, yes!” Jane said. “That would be a fabulous idea. Move to the city, Natalie.”
“I can’t just move to New York,” I told them.
“Why not?” Lewis asked. “You’re working as an author and making decent money, and you write better here. You told me yourself.”
“I…I mean…yeah, but,” I ventured.
Jane’s grin widened. “You write better in the city? Well then, you have to move here. We could hang out all the time. Get coffee while I work on my business and you write. Shop at Bergdorf and Barneys and go to all the best parties. It would be fabulous.”
Except…that wasn’t the life I wanted or even could live. Just because I’d published my first book didn’t mean I could suddenly shop at Bergdorf. God, I couldn’t even imagine what it would cost to move to the city and get my own apartment. It was unreasonable.
“It’s my first book. I don’t even have the next contract.”
Lewis brushed that aside. “You’re a superstar at Warren. They’ll buy anything you put forth now.”
“Yeah, and if they don’t, I think we know someone who might have a say,” Jane said with a pointed look.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” I said. “First off, no one is helping me get my book published. And even if they buy the next book, I don’t know if it’s a fluke that the first did well. There are so many variables. Too many variables to just move to New York.”
“Oh, come on. Where’s the girl who used to hop vacation homes for fun while she was writing?” Lewis asked.
“That girl got paid to do that and wrote on the side,” I reminded him.
“What’s the real issue?” Jane asked, leaning in.
I took a steadying sip of my martini. “I don’t know. I…don’t want to live here. I don’t fit in here. The Upper East Side isn’t my home. It’s this other universe that I’ll never belong to. I learned that the hard way.”
Jane frowned. “Who told you that you didn’t belong? Because they’re wrong.”
“I know who told you that,” Lewis said grimly.
Penn. Penn had said it that first day on the beach when he saw me there. Katherine had said it later. And they weren’t wrong. No matter what Jane or Lewis thought. I didn’t have enough money or the name to fit in with this crowd. I was an outsider. Maybe less of a fish out of water than the first time I’d stumbled into that Hamptons cottage with the crew and their fabulous lives. But it didn’t change the fact that this world had hurt me. Walking back into it would be foolish.
“Listen,” Jane said, “the Upper East Side is its own world. I’ll grant you that. But the only way you can survive it is by thinking you belong. The minute they see weakness, they’ll eat you alive.”