Manuel bursts out with a laugh that draws heads from all around the bar. “I can’t say I would have blamed you there, brother.”
John sets another beer down in front of me. “I don’t know, Manuel. What the fuck am I doing? She’s here for two weeks and that’s it. Is it worth trying to dig deeper when she’s leaving in what feels like the blink of an eye, or do I ride the high and see where it goes?”
He sighs. “What’s the downside? At the worst, you have two amazing weeks with a smoking hot woman and some amazing sex. And at best, you realize that you have something special. Plans can always change.”
“But isn’t that fast?” I ask. “It feels like a whirlwind. That’s why it’s terrifying. It can’t happen this fast. Even if it took the full two weeks, that’s still way too fast.”
“Bullshit.”
I stare at him.
“There’s no such thing as too fast. What’s too fast for someone else might be exactly right for you. I don’t buy into the idea of too fast. If you know, you know. Some of that stuff is chemical. I say ride it out. There isn’t any downside to this.”
He could be right. Though I can’t help but worry about getting in too deep and then realizing at the end of these two weeks that she doesn’t feel the same. Is the risk worth that kind of pain?
Yes.
The answer comes from deep within and with no hesitation. I guess that’s that then.
“Fuck.”
Manuel smirks at me. “I don’t envy you, honestly. Figuring this shit out isn’t easy.”
“Tell me about it.”
We both finish our beers and we talk about Manuel’s job as a contractor for the city’s construction. He doesn’t know anything about the city trying to take over Klara’s parents’ properties, but it doesn’t exactly surprise him.
But more than that, I feel like I’m a bad friend. Even as we talk, I know that I’m not completely present. My mind is away, back with Klara and these crazy feelings I have.
Earlier when we talked about fantasies—when we kissed—I could see things spinning away from me. That situation in the desert, I hadn’t thought of it before, but I could see it. I didn’t lie to her when I said I would go look for the perfect place. I will. Because my instinct is to give her everything.
And that’s exhilarating. And terrifying.
“Rey,” Manuel says, and I look over at him.
“Yeah?”
He grins. “What did I say?”
I try to recall what he said, but it’s all just a blank space. I was a million miles away. “Fuck. I have no idea. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he claps me on the shoulder. “Just go where your mind is, okay?”
“You sure?”
He nods. “Yes. You think I’m going to keep you away from a beautiful woman in your bed? Get the hell out of here.”
I smirk at him as I throw bills on the bar. “Thanks.”
He shakes his head and signals John for another beer. On a normal night I’d stay late and get far drunker than I am now. As it is, I barely have a buzz in my veins, and that’s fine with me. I want to have a clear head right now.
The short drive back to my house goes quickly, and I see Klara’s car in front of the house, already back from whatever errands she had to run. It’s not early, but it’s not late either. So, when I find her in bed with the light still on, I’m surprised.
Her eyes are closed in sleep, and I take the chance to just look at her. Dark hair curls in waves over her shoulders. She’s relaxed, and I look at her as if this is just my daily life. Like we’re a normal couple, and I came home late and found her asleep in our bed. It makes my heart race and heat rise under my skin.
I have guest rooms in my house. She could have stayed in any of them, but I didn’t even think about asking her to stay somewhere else. I want her in my bed, even if the impossibility of these too-big feelings won’t let me say why.
Slowly, I peel off my shirt and toss my jeans in the laundry basket. A quick shower to wash off the sweat, and then I’m climbing into bed beside her. Klara doesn’t wake up, but she stirs when I pull her against my chest.
She doesn’t pull away.
Instead, as I wrap my arm around her stomach and line her body up with mine, she sighs and eases back against me like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Maybe I’m more buzzed than I think that I am, but I press a kiss to the back of her head, on top of her hair, and I catch the scent of lemons and strawberries.