‘I think you get the point.’
‘It’s a re-run of the “don’t expect too much from me,” escape hatch for the commitment-shy male, is it?’ Polly condemned on a rush of bitter pain that filled her with a furious need to strike back. ‘You are just so terrified of emotion I actually feel sorry for you, but why should you worry about disappointing me? After all, you’ve been disappointing me one way or another ever since the first day we met!’
Stunned by that ringing and unexpected indictment, any pretense of indolence now abandoned, Raul stared at her, eyes dangerous as black ice. ‘Is that a fact?’ he breathed unevenly—only so thick was his accent it sounded much more like, ‘Ees-zat-a-fat?’, so she knew she had hit home very hard.
Polly snatched up her nightie and pulled it over her head with trembling hands. ‘Yes...but it hardly matters,’ she assured him with a skimming look of scorn. ‘I have nothing to lose and I’m not lowering my needs to the level of yours. You’re on probation, Raul.’
So incensed was he by that patronising little speech, he threw back the sheet and sprang out of bed. ‘I... Raul Zaforteza...on probation?’ he gritted in savage disbelief.
Squaring her slight shoulders, Polly was unrepentant. ‘And so far you are not doing very well. You seem to think you’ve done me one very big favour marrying me...but ask me how I feel five months from now—’
‘Por qué? What the hell is going to happen in five months?’ Raul raked at her across the depth of the bedroom.
‘I will inherit my godmother’s money, and if I’m not happy with you, I’m not spending the rest of my life in misery.’
‘Misery?’ Raul ground out in outrage.
‘I’m not,’ Polly told him, and meant it. ‘You needn’t think you can toss diamond jewellery at me to keep me happy. Diamonds are quite pretty, but not something I feel I have to have.’
‘Pretty?’ Raul echoed in rampant disbelief.
‘Other things mean much more to me...respect, affection, caring. I do appreciate that you have probably spent the entirety of your adult life giving extravagant gifts to women because you can’t cope with emotional demands, but—’
‘How dare you say I cannot cope?’ Volatile golden eyes slammed into hers in a look as hostile as a physical assault.
‘You said it yourself. You said you walk away when things get difficult.’ Polly made that incendiary reminder with reluctance.
Rau
l studied her with a seething, wordless incomprehension that twisted her heart inside out. Then he spun away, presenting her with the long golden sweep of his flawless back to wrench open a drawer and start to haul on a pair of black jeans. She knew he didn’t even trust himself to speak. She knew he was infuriated by the sudden struggle speaking English had become because he was in such an ungovernable rage.
‘I realize I’m far from perfect, and that a lot of things I do and say must irritate you...but I don’t think I deserve to feel that you only came home tonight to have sex with me,’ Polly told him, her eyes stinging so hard she had to open her eyes very wide to hold the tears back. ‘Like I’m some sort of novelty act... and then, right after it, regardless of my feelings, you have to gloat—’
On that charge, Raul swung back. ‘All I said was that love was not necessary to—’
Polly drew in a deep, shuddering breath. ‘And why did you say that?’ she whispered painfully, suddenly sick and tired of pretending. ‘You knew it wasn’t true. You must know how I feel about you. I think you’ve always known...’
Raul went very still. Dense black lashes dropped low, spectacular eyes betraying only a glint of gold, ferocious tension tightening his bronzed skin over his fabulous bone structure. ‘You’re going to regret this...’
‘No, I won’t. I’m past caring,’ Polly muttered with perfect truth. ‘I love you to death, and you probably knew it before I did! If you’d had a single shred of decency you would’ve backed off in Vermont. In the same way you knew exactly why I wanted to marry you...yet you told Digby I was a gold-digger and a blackmailer. It’s like a big black secret you won’t acknowledge, but I won’t live a lie, Raul.’
Utterly drained by that stark baring of her own tormented emotions, Polly slid out of the bed and walked towards the door.
‘Dios...I can’t give you love!’ Raul launched at her with positive savagery.
‘But with a little effort you could make a reasonable stab at respect, if not anything else. Because if you don’t,’ Polly whispered jaggedly, torn in two with pain and the regret he had so accurately forecast she would feel, ‘I’ll stop loving you, and love is all you have to hold me. I won’t be a doormat...I won’t be walked on.’
Without looking back, she flipped the door shut behind her. She was in a complete daze, shock at what she had done and said hitting her all at once. She was shaking all over, moving towards the sanctuary of the guest room she had abandoned earlier on jellied knees. But somehow she didn’t feel like crying any more. What had passed between her and Raul had been too devastating. A shame something she had found so wonderful, so beautiful, had had to end in such emotional agony.
Raul simply couldn’t have allowed it to stay that good. He had had to open that smart mouth of his and blow everything apart. Make her feel like a one-night stand instead of a wife who loved him—and who he knew damned well loved him! In the clear dawn light she lay down on the bed, a giant, aching hole where her heart had been. She didn’t want a heart that hurt her so much.
When the door opened again, she sat up with a start. Raul thrust the door shut behind him and studied her, brilliant black eyes incisive.
‘I too have faults,’ Raul murmured. ‘But, unlike you, I acknowledge them.’
‘What are you saying?’ Feeling worn and drained, Polly simply bowed her head defensively over her raised knees.
‘Yes, I disappointed you in Vermont...but then you disappointed me too.’