CHAPTER FIVE
POLLY wheeled the stroller in from the roof garden. Threading back her spectacular mane of blonde hair with a manicured hand, Maxie Petronides bent to look in at a warmly-clothed Luis and exclaimed, ‘He’s so cute I could steal him!’
Polly surveyed her sleeping son with loving eyes. He was four weeks old and he got more precious with every passing day. Remorsefully aware that Raul was being deprived of their son, she had twice sent brief letters containing photos of Luis to Rod Bevan at the clinic, knowing he would pass them on.
The fabulous penthouse flat which she was looking after belonged to Maxie and her husband, Angelos, who used an even more spacious central London apartment. Polly was acting as caretaker for the property while the floors below were transformed into similar luxury dwellings. When the work was complete, Angelos Petronides would put the building on the market with the penthouse as a show home.
‘So how are you feeling?’ Maxie prompted over the coffee that Polly had made.
‘Guilty,’ Polly confessed ruefully, but she forced a smile, determined not to reveal the real extent of her unhappiness. Every time Raul came into her mind, she forced him out again. He had no business being there. He had never had any business being there. Learning to think of Raul only in relation to Luis was a priority.
‘You shouldn’t be feeling like that,’ Maxie reproved. ‘You needed this time alone to sort yourself out. This last year, you’ve been through an awful lot.’
‘And made some even more awful mistakes,’ Polly stressed with a helpless grimace. ‘I shouldn’t have married Raul. It was incredibly selfish and unfair. I still don’t know what got into me!’
‘Love has a lot to answer for. Sometimes you get so bitter and furious, you want to hit back hard,’ Maxie proffered, disconcerting Polly with the depth of her understanding. ‘And that just creates more strife. It’s only when it all gets too much that you suddenly simmer down and come to your senses.’
‘I wish I’d hit that point before I married Raul,’ Polly muttered wretchedly.
‘But Raul has made mistakes too,’ Maxie contended firmly. ‘He’s also sent out some very confusing messages about exactly what he wants from you. But if you’re honest with him when you contact him again, it should take some of the heat out of the situation.’
Polly tried to imagine telling Raul that she loved him and just cringed. Some excuse to give a man for forcing him into marrying her! That was what she had done, she acknowledged now. And admitting that even to herself still appalled her. But, whether she liked it or not, Raul had had grounds to accuse her of using their son to blackmail him into marriage. That wasn’t what she had intended, but that, in his eyes, had been the end result.
In the clinic she had brooded over the hurt and humiliation Raul had carelessly inflicted in Vermont. If she had never seen Raul again she would have got over him eventually, but being forced into such regular contact with him again had plunged her right back into emotional turmoil. She’d been too proud to face up to her continuing feelings for him...a woman scorned? She shuddered at that demeaning label. Whatever, she had been stubbornly blind to what was going on inside her own head.
She had still been so bitterly angry with Raul. Instead of putting those dangerous emotions behind her, before trying to seriously consider their son’s future, she had let herself glory in them that day at his apartment. Admittedly, Raul had provoked her with his refusal to even allow that she might be entitled to a life of her own. But marriage would only have been a viable alternative if Raul had been a willing bridegroom.
On their wedding day she had also become a new mother. That in itself would have been quite enough to cope with, but Raul’s subsequent behaviour had increased her anxiety about what their future together might hold. That overheard conversation had pushed the misgivings she had been trying to repress and ignore out into the open.
‘Initially Angelos wasn’t that fussed about getting married either,’ Maxie confessed, taking Polly by surprise.
‘Did he ever say he would sooner be dead than married?’
‘Well, no...’
Of course not. Angelos was besotted with his wife. And Maxie was besotted with her husband. But then Maxie was gorgeous, Polly reflected wryly, and naturally physical attraction had initially brought the couple together. Angelos hadn’t looked at Maxie and thought, I like her...she’d make a good surrogate mother. So why on earth had she tried to make a comparison?
After Maxie’s visit, Polly spent the rest of the day being extremely conscious of the presence of every phone in the apartment. She knew it was time to get in touch with Raul direct. It was now over three weeks since she had left the clinic on a surging tide of rage, pain and fear after hearing Raul’s opinion of her. But as that anger had subsided she had gradually come to appreciate that Raul had more right to be bitter than she had initially been prepared to admit.
And at least she now knew what had to be done about the situation, she reflected while she showered in the palatial en suite bathroom off the master bedroom. She was ready to humbly acknowledge her mistake, ready to talk to Raul about having their ill-judged marriage annulled. That would put them right back where they had started, but surely it would at least eradicate Raul’s hostility? Fearful of the response she was likely to receive, it was after nine that evening when she finally dialled the number Raul had given her weeks earlier in the clinic.
‘It’s Polly...’
Silence buzzed on the line, and then she heard some background noise she couldn’t identify. ‘Raul?’ she queried uncertainly.
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‘I heard you,’ Raul finally responded, the dark, rich timbre of his accented drawl washing over her with a familiarity that almost hurt. ‘Where are you?’
‘I thought we should clear the air on the phone first,’ Polly admitted tautly. ‘Did you get my note?’
‘Three pages isn’t exactly a “note”.’
‘I was very upset when I heard you talking about me like that,’ Polly admitted tightly.
‘I did get that message. But I was letting off steam that day. It never occurred to me that I’d be overheard.’
Polly relaxed slightly.