I can’t even bring myself to think the word, because I’m already slick. Right where it counts. And he keeps frowning at my squeezed – together legs, as if he knows it.
“I don’t believe you. About wanting me.”
His jaw muscle flexes. Hard. He’s angry now? “Don’t believe me?”
“Nope. Why now? Why would you wait to tell me this until you’re…” I fling a hand toward the passing scenery, “essentially driving me out of your life?”
He bares his teeth. “I’m not leaving you. We’ve spoken of this.”
Hearing that, knowing he didn’t just mean it in some symbolic way, my heart lifts with relief. As much as I want my freedom, the one thing — person — I never want to be away from is Sasha. He’s the one who brings home a cake and candles to celebrate my birthday when my father forgets. He’s the one who fusses and threatens the doctors when I’m sick. My friend, the only man who’s ever made my lady parts clench…my uncle who isn’t really an uncle. Sasha.
But it’s difficult to reconcile the man I’ve grown up with and this new, sexually charged Adonis…who claims to want me. Bad. Even after walking in on him touching himself in the shower, our relationship didn’t change. Not on his end, anyway. I was walking into walls for two months, the hot vision of his big hand stroking up and down his shaft painted on my corneas.
“I need an explanation, Sasha. Or I’ll…” I search the car for some threat inspiration, my gaze landing on the granola bar sticking out of my purse. “I won’t eat until I get the truth.”
If possible, his powerful frame grows even stiffer. “Your lunch time is in seventeen minutes, Anya. You will not be missing it.”
Propping my hand on a bent wrist, I flutter my eyelashes at him. “Then I guess you should start talking.”
He grunts, looking at me with grudging approval. “You are a very challenging creature.” His fingers tap on the steering wheel. “Very well. I will appease some of this curiosity.”
My smile seems to distract him. “Thank you.”
A curt nod. “Try and maintain that grateful attitude.” His cheek flexes for long moments as he stares out at the road ahead. “Do you remember when I came to live with you?”
“Of course.” I turn and lay the side of my face on the leather seat. “It was the week after my mother’s funeral. My father was so paranoid, he wouldn’t let me leave the house, and I thought I’d be a prisoner forever, but…he trusted you to protect me. Before you even unpacked, you took me out for ice cream.”
“Yes.” His expression warms, before the stoicism returns and chases it away. “This trust your father had in me is very important, Anya. It didn’t come for free. Do you understand? Not for him or me.” He pauses. “My mother and sister needed a home in Chicago, and your father had the connections I didn’t, being so new to this country.”
I nod, because I knew this much already. Sasha’s family is private and they don’t come to the house very often, unless there’s some news that must be delivered in person. But I always know when it’s someone’s birthday because he asks my opinion when ordering flowers or a gift online. “I’m glad he helped your family. It brought me you.”
My face goes up in flames as soon as the words leave my mouth. Normally, I wouldn’t hesitate to let Sasha know I appreciate him. But that was before he touched me. Before he admitted to admiring my near – naked body with looks I used to believe were platonic. Now I worry saying how much I need him out loud might make me sound too desperate. Aren’t I, though? God, I can barely sit still on the seat, I want to be in his lap so bad.
“Anya.”
“Yes,” I breathe.
“You will continue as you always have. You will not stop telling me your thoughts.” He rolls a shoulder. “I like them very much.”
My heart is pounding in my ears when I say, “Tell me the rest.”
His eyebrows lift at being given a command, but thankfully he doesn’t pull the plug on our conversation. “I gave him five years of loyal service in exchange for his help with my family. When I came to Chicago, I assumed I would be running…a very different kind of operation for your father. But when he mentioned hiring you a different bodyguard, I protested.”
I catch a laugh in my throat, just imagining what that protest from Sasha looked and sounded like. Sort of like the human equivalent of a volcanic eruption.
“This amuses you, angel?” The car picks up speed. “Men are not to be trusted.”
“Only you.”
“That’s right. Only me.” He slants a look in my direction, those cool gray eyes roaming over my legs and breasts, his humongous arms seeming to expand and flex inside his coat. “I gave him five years. During those five years, I vowed to keep you innocent. Of all men, yes. But when I made this promise to your father, it was clear that it pertained to me. So long as this five – year contract was in effect, you were forbidden.”