“Fuck.” He growled in my ear as he finished, his cock twitching as he dumped every drop of his seed inside me. His hand stayed on my neck until he was completely done. When he started to soften inside me, he rested his face against the back of my shoulder, breathing heavily as he recovered from the pleasure we’d both experienced.
My eyes were red and puffy from the tears I’d shed. Now that the sex was over, the pain from his spankings came back to me. The skin stung because of his powerful palm. My ass started to relax as his cock became smaller. Despite the pain I’d just endured, it ended with a climax that matched the intensity.
He slowly pulled out of me. “Alright, sweetheart?”
“I think so…”
He walked away into the bathroom, and a moment later, the water was running. He came back to me and took me by the hand before we both stepped under the warm shower together. Once he was satisfied, he turned back into the man I knew, the gentle one with a kind soul. He grabbed the soap and rubbed it into my skin, showing me the right gentleness to balance out the harsh way he handled me before. Carter seemed to be two different men, one who cared and respected women, and another who wanted to be a tormentor.
He faced me, the water dripping down his hard chin until it fell to the tile beneath our feet. “I’m sorry for being what I am. I’m sorry for getting off on your tears. A part of me is ashamed. Another part of me wants nothing more than to do it again.” He held my gaze like he wanted me to say something in response, as if he’d posed a question.
I looked into his dark eyes and didn’t see a monster. Egor broke my bones and tortured me to a psychotic degree. Carter’s actions were tame compared to my former master. But I didn’t say that, not when it would only hurt him. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Carter. You told me what you wanted, and I accept that. You’ve shown me your good side. When I said no, you listened. When I asked you to help me, you did. After what you’ve given to me, I can give this to you.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “I’m glad you don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
“A real man shouldn’t enjoy listening to his woman cry…”
“You don’t. When I cried over Luca, you were there for me. You didn’t enjoy it. It’s a different situation.”
“I’ve never been this way before. I’ve never wanted to hurt a woman before.” He lifted his gaze to look at me again. “When I saw the scars on your back…it started all of this. There’s something about you that makes me into a different man.”
“A better man, I think.”
He cocked his head, his eyes narrowing on my face. “How so?”
“Look at everything you’ve done for me, Carter.”
“I should do that out of the goodness of my heart, not for something in return.”
“And you did,” I whispered. “I know I could say no at any time. You never told me that, but I know it’s true. I submit because I want to, because it makes you feel good. I enjoy turning you on, regardless of how sinister it is.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, my words affecting him somehow.
“What did I say?”
He opened his eyes again. “Hearing you say you submit because you want to…is very sexy. You’re obeying me because you want to. You’re listening to me because you choose to. Makes me feel like less of an ass.”
I moved into his chest and rested my forehead against his powerful body. The water rained down on both of us, the drops cleaning our skin and washing away the past. It was difficult to see Carter as anything but my champion. Without him, I wouldn’t have the freedom I was enjoying that very moment. “I want half and half. I’ll give you exactly what you want if you give me what I want.”
“What is that, sweetheart?”
I lifted my gaze to look at him. “The slow sex…”
“You want me to make love to you.”
“Yes.” It was exactly how I liked it, slow, deep, and gentle. I liked the kissing and the touching. I liked taking our time, my legs spread as he sank me into the mattress. It was the best sex I’d ever had in my life, having this powerful man on top of me. “You give me what I want, and I’ll always give you what you want.”
“That sounds fair.” He rubbed his nose against mine.
I rubbed mine back. “Yeah. I think it is.”
Five
Carter
When I opened the front door, I was greeted by Conway’s arrogant smirk.