I think I preferred her body when she was pregnant.
I was sitting up in bed with my laptop across my thighs while Muse sat in the chair beside me reading a book. She was in a white summer dress, a loose-fitting silk that gave her stomach ample room. Her hair was pulled back to reveal her pretty face, and every few minutes, she rubbed her hand across her large belly, feeling our child kick.
I set my laptop aside and stared at her, wondering if we were having a girl or a boy. The doctor knew, but we said we didn’t want to know. When the baby arrived, we wanted to be surprised.
I preferred a boy over a girl, but not because having a son to carry my name was important to me. Having seen men gawk at women all my life, and after being a player myself, I didn’t want my daughter to be the target of assholes like that. Having a beautiful sister was hard enough.
Having a daughter would be a million times harder.
When Muse noticed my stare, she looked at me. “Need anything?”
“No.” Despite the peaceful landscape, I was growing restless with inactivity. My face started to look much better now that the swelling and bruising were nearly gone. It’d been two weeks since that horrific evening, and Muse was still having nightmares every night.
“You’re staring at me, so it seems like you need something.”
“Yes. I need to stare at you.”
A soft smile moved over her lips before she turned back to her book.
With the Tuscan sun brightening the color of her dress and her hair, she looked like an image from one of Vanessa’s paintings. “You’re gorgeous, Muse.”
A slight tint entered her cheeks before she looked at me, her eyes soft. “Thanks, Con…”
“I could look at you forever.”
A knock sounded on our door. “Can we come in?” Mama’s voice reached our ears.
“Of course.” Muse set her book down and opened the bedroom door. “I was reading, and Conway was doing some work on his laptop.”
Mama carried my lunch to the bed and set the tray down. “Lars made salmon in a bed of quinoa and a side salad along with an iced tea.” She positioned the tray over my lap then placed the glass on the nightstand.
Every time my mother brought me anything, I felt worthless. I didn’t like watching her wait on me, not when she’d done enough work raising me. I should be waiting on her hand and foot, not the other way around. “Thanks, Mama.”
She examined my face like she did every day, just the way she used to when I was a sick boy with a fever. She placed her hand against my forehead to feel my temperature.
I wanted to push her hand off and tell her she was being ridiculous, but after everything she’d been through, seeing her only son in a hospital bed with a bruised face and broken ribs, I let her get her way. “I’m fine, Mama.”
“Just checking.” She ran her fingers through my hair, staring at me like I was I still a little boy. She hadn’t looked at me that way in a long time. She usually treated me like a grown man, respecting me as an adult and not treating me like I was delicate. But the second I was hurt, she seemed to regress. “You look a lot better, but I still worry. Do you need anything else? It’s almost time for another painkiller, but we can probably give it to you now.”
“Really, I’m fine.” I patted her arm.
Mama finally turned to Sapphire. “How about you, sweetheart? Do you need anything? Are you ready for lunch?”
“No thanks, Pearl,” she said. “I’ve been having morning sickness today, and I just don’t have an appetite.”
“I understand,” Mom said. “But you should eat something soon.”
“I will.” Muse rubbed her hand across her stomach.
Father came to me when my mother was out of the way. He sat at the edge of the bed, making the mattress dip slightly with his weight. He came out of the fight unscathed so he looked exactly the same as he used to, but the pain of my disfigurement was written in his eyes. “How are you doing, Con?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just want to get out of this bed and move around.”
“You’ll get there,” he said. “And if you don’t, your mother and I have loved having you around. Stay as long as you like.”
It was a comfortable place to stay, but I was eager to get back to reality. I missed fucking my wife as loud as I wanted. I missed taking care of her. I missed not having my mother bring me food. “Thanks, Father. You guys have been wonderful to both of us.”
“Yes, it’s been very relaxing,” Muse said. “I’ve been so worried about Conway, and it’s nice to know I have someone to help me take care of him.”