I let the men talk in private by leaving the room and heading to the third floor. Since my father hadn’t appeared around the house, I knew there was only one place he could be—in his study drinking scotch.
I approached his study door and knocked. “Can I come in?”
Father paused before answering, recognizing my voice through the solid wood instantly. “Yes.”
I walked inside and saw him sitting at his desk, a bottle and a glass in front of him. The fireplace was empty because it was too warm for a fire at this time of year. Throughout the winter season, my father always had a fire burning in the hearth. This was supposed to be a place where he could work in peace, but I’d never seen him do anything for the winery in here. Instead, it seemed to be just a place where he could drink in peace.
He didn’t look at me, his eyes on the fireplace even though there weren’t any flames to watch. “Conway is in his room. Your mother is in the kitchen.” He grabbed his glass and took a drink.
I hated seeing my father this way, morose and empty. He acted the same way when he was angry, but he didn’t have that blank expression in his eyes, not like he did now.
I walked to the front of his desk and sat in one of the leather armchairs that faced him.
His eyes finally flicked to my face.
“Are you going to offer me a drink?”
He straightened in his chair, a quiet sigh coming from his lips. “It’s a little early.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “And it’s not a little early for you?”
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile, the same way Conway’s had. “I started drinking a few hours ago.”
“I’ve been awake since three, so I’m ready for it.”
He didn’t make another protest and poured the liquor into a glass. He pushed it to the edge of the desk. “It’s strong.”
I took a long drink, not grimacing at all as it slid down my throat and hit my stomach. “I’m used to it.” That was all Bones ever drank. I hardly saw him without a glass in his hand. He drank in his office, at dinner, and when we lay on the couch together in the evenings.
My father probably knew why I was used to it, but he didn’t make a comment about it. “Was there something you needed?”
I stared at the ghostly demeanor of my father. Depressed and scared, he wasn’t himself when our relationship was so damaged. He’d never been an emotional person, had never shed a tear in front of me. He was hard like steel, unaffected by everything. The only time he seemed to soften was when it came to my mother, but even then, it wasn’t obvious. “I don’t hate you, Father. I love you more than words can say, and I would take a bullet for you in a heartbeat.” I held his gaze as I spoke, meaning every word from the bottom of my heart.
He controlled his reaction as best he could, but his eyes softened against his will. The relief entered his gaze, and his shoulders weren’t as tense as they were a second ago. His fingers relaxed around his glass, and his breathing became softer. “That means a lot to me…except that last part. I would rather die a million times than let anything bad happen to you. I will always make sacrifices for you. Don’t you ever make a sacrifice for me.” He picked up his glass and took a drink. “Your mother told me you would come around…I’m glad you did. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”
I felt guilty for hurting him, but I still couldn’t change the way I felt about the situation. “There’s nothing you could ever do to make me hate you. Nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. You’ll always be my father, and because of that, I’ll always love and respect you. My family means everything to me. That’s why I’m still here. But…I still don’t agree with what you did. I don’t think you’re being fair. And I think you’re being hypocritical and sexist.”
The softness that was in his eyes just a moment ago disappeared. His gaze hardened, staring me down like an enemy. “So, we aren’t okay, then?”
“I’m still hurt. I just wanted you to know that I’m still your daughter, and I love you very much.”
He released the glass and leaned back in his chair. A sigh escaped his throat, and he looked out the window, avoiding my gaze. His happiness disappeared like a drop of water on a hot day. He turned back to me. “I don’t know what you want me to say, tesoro. I stand by my decision and won’t change my mind. We’re at a stalemate.”