He didn’t acknowledge my words, continuing to stare straight ahead.
“I know you don’t like me, but I’m the best thing for her, Crow.”
He gripped his glass, his knuckles flexing like he was considering smashing it. “I’ve sacrificed everything for my family. My brother and I live peaceful lives in the countryside, where we make wine and mind our own business. I don’t want my daughter getting involved in that lifestyle, the kind of world I’ve tried to protect her from.”
“I keep my business separate from my personal life.”
He shook his head. “Not possible. You cross the wrong person, and they never stop coming after you. And you might not realize it until it’s too late. As long as you do that for a living, the risk will always be there. And Vanessa is the first person they’ll use against you—just how you tried to use her against me.”
“I would never let that happen.”
“It’s out of your control. There are so many things I don’t like about you…but I despise your ignorance and arrogance the most.” He finished his glass then left cash on the bar. “I’m done talking to you.” He left me at the bar and walked out.
I stayed on the stool and didn’t go after him, unsure if this conversation had helped or just made it worse.
Vanessa and I were quiet on the drive home. She didn’t tell me what happened with her mother, and I didn’t mention the conversation I had with her father. Judging by our silence, we both know nothing good happened on either front.
We took the elevator to the top floor and went straight to bed. I considered what Crow said, that my criminal lifestyle could catch up with me and hurt Vanessa in the end. She asked me to stop working, but without my job, I wouldn’t have any other purpose. It was a business I’d been running a long time. I couldn’t just walk away from it.
Crow never asked me to.
It made me realize he was never going to give me a real chance. If he were, he would have asked if I would quit the business and retire. The sacrifice would speak volumes, and then he wouldn’t be able to hold it against me.
So he didn’t ask at all since it wouldn’t make a difference anyway.
I didn’t tell Vanessa because it would only make her upset.
We went to bed, and I lay on my back in the center of the mattress. After a night like that, I wasn’t exactly in the mood for sex. I always wanted Vanessa, but the overwhelming sense of frustration burned out my drive. The time I had with her seemed shorter and shorter every time I spoke to her father.
The situation was like a bomb ready to go off.
When it did, Vanessa would be gone.
Vanessa moved on top of my body and lay directly on my chest. She was in my t-shirt with her hair spread everywhere. She was too upset to remember to take off her makeup, so she kept it on as she lay on top of me. She immediately closed her eyes with her hands resting on my warm skin, clinging to me like it was our last night together.
She still didn’t mention dinner, and neither did I.
We were both too depressed to say anything.
The next few days were spent in silence.
We hardly spoke to each other, neither one of us wanting to address the dead space between us. We coexisted without speaking, making love regularly and having our meals together. But the conversation had dried up, like muttering a single word would destroy us both.
I felt like I’d failed her.
I wondered if there was something else I could have done or said to persuade her father, but I knew there was nothing. He was a stubborn man, set in his ways. The good things I did for his daughter didn’t outweigh the bad. I might protect her, but it didn’t diminish the risk our relationship brought to the table.
She lay beside me one night, her leg hitched over my hip as her arm curled around my torso. Her head rested beside me on the pillow, her beautiful face not as pretty because she was so sad. I could see it in her green eyes, the way her eyes didn’t emit as much light.
My fingers trailed up her arm and then stopped at her neck, feeling her steady pulse. I’d made love to her the way she liked, but the connection between us wasn’t as strong as it used to be. The sadness we both shared had dampened our chemistry, had masked the pleasure because we were scared we would lose each other.
“I don’t know what to do…” She stared at my chest, her eyes downcast on purpose. “Every time we’re with them, it’s like it’s the first time. They’re just as angry as the day I brought you home. My mom said she would talk to my father and they would work on it…but I don’t know.”