This was really happening. I was really going to take a pregnancy test.
And I felt terrible for wanting it to be positive. I didn’t want to trap Conway into a commitment he didn’t want. I didn’t want him to be stuck supporting me forever. But if I were going to start a family, I would want it to be with him.
I wanted to start a family with him.
Conway always seemed to want to be on top. Every night before bed, he moved between my legs and kissed me at the same time, making love to me instead of aggressively fucking me the way he used to.
I never asked for it, but I would gladly take it.
But tonight, I wasn’t feeling it. I kept thinking about that pregnancy test waiting for me downstairs. When he went to sleep, I would slip away and finally get the answer that had been gnawing at my side constantly.
I needed to know.
Conway must have noticed I wasn’t as wet as I usually was, and my kiss wasn’t as deep as it used to be. He shoved himself completely inside me, broke our kiss, and then stared at me. Everything came to a halt, and I could feel the tension before he even said anything. “What is it, Muse?”
“Nothing.” My hands glided up his back.
Concern faded away, and annoyance entered his gaze. “When I’m buried to the hilt inside you, I can feel everything you feel. So tell me.”
When I was the recipient of that gaze, I almost fessed up. I wanted to share the burden with him so I didn’t have to carry the stress on my own. But I still couldn’t tell him the truth, not when I didn’t have the answer first. “I guess I’m just a little sore. We’ve been making love a lot lately.”
He studied my gaze for another moment, as if he was trying to figure out if I was lying. But then the softness returned to his gaze. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No…” My mind wasn’t in the moment, but it still felt good. “I want you inside me.” I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, distracting his mind by getting him to focus on our embrace.
His hips started to move again, and he thrust into me, my legs pinned back toward my waist. He moved deep and slow, breathing with me in the darkness of his bedroom. A minute after that, it was like the conversation had never happened at all.
I waited until he’d been asleep for an hour before I made my way downstairs and opened the cabinet where Dante hid the pregnancy test. I found the small box concealed behind the coffee mugs and then made my way back upstairs to the third floor.
In the middle of the night, the house was dead quiet. All the lights were off, and Dante was asleep in his private quarters on the bottom floor. The second floor wasn’t even used because the place was so big.
I returned to our bedroom and spotted Conway still sound asleep in bed. He was turned on his side, his arm still in front of him as if it were wrapped around my waist. I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me before I examined the box.
I’d never used a pregnancy test before, so I read the directions with shaky hands before I opened it. Fortunately, there were two sticks inside, so if I messed up, I had another shot. I sat on the toilet and did my business before I placed the stick on the counter.
Then I waited.
I was supposed to wait two minutes before my results appeared, so I sat on the lid in my panties and t-shirt and waited.
I waited a damn eternity.
Whenever life got tough, I always tried to put things in perspective. Nothing was ever as bad as it seemed. There was nothing I couldn’t overcome. A psychopath had chased me all the way to Italy, and I was kidnapped by the Skull Kings. At that point, I thought I was going to be raped and murdered.
So being pregnant, even if Conway was upset, didn’t seem that bad.
He might flip out the way he had when I told the world I loved him. He might get furious and push me away. But after he calmed down, he would come back to me. We would figure out what to do.
But I was jumping ahead because I still didn’t know the results.
Two minutes passed.
But I still didn’t look.
“Oh god…” I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my legs. I was afraid to look at the results because I already knew what it was going to say.
I could feel it in my gut.
I finally grabbed the stick and read the word written on the window of the strip.