I hadn’t made much progress, which was discouraging because it’d been almost a month since I saw him. When I couldn’t sleep at night, I touched myself and imagined he was there. I got off with my hand, whispering his name into the darkness of my bedroom. I was still sleeping with him—even though he wasn’t there with me. He’d probably fucked dozens of other women by now. I should just sleep with Nox to expedite the process of moving forward, but I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t fair to Nox or me. “Honestly, nothing has really changed. I think about him pretty often.”
If Nox was upset about that, he didn’t act like it. “Do you still talk to him?”
“No. We’ve had no contact.”
“It takes time. It took me about four months to really get over what happened with my fiancée. So, you still have a ways to go.”
I was baffled that he wanted to keep waiting around for me. “That’s two more months…you could find someone great in that amount of time.”
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “I could get into my safety school right away because it was easy to get accepted right off the bat…or I could wait for the school that I really want. I’m first on the waitlist, right?”
“Well…you’re the only person on the waitlist,” I said with an awkward laugh.
“That’s even better. So there’s no rush. I like getting to know you anyway. You’re a cool chick.”
My lips automatically stretched into a smile. “You’re great too, Nox. It’s hard to believe I have this super-hot guy showing so much interest in me.”
His eyebrows rose. “You think I’m hot? Not just hot, but super-hot?”
“Uh, duh. Look at you.”
He grinned. “Well, thanks. I think you’re super-hot too. Hopefully, we can be a super-hot couple soon…”
When we finished dinner, we split the tab like always and then headed to the sidewalk.
“Can I walk you home?” he asked. “Or better yet, you want to come over and watch a movie? It’s only seven, unless you have work in the morning.”
“I’m off tomorrow,” I blurted.
“Is that a yes, then?” he asked.
Maybe I shouldn’t go over there, but I’d told him I wasn’t over Conway yet, so it shouldn’t matter. We would just spend time together the way we’d already been doing. “Yeah. Sure.”
When I went to work two days later, Andrew greeted me in his studio. His supplies lay on the table, and his lingerie piece was on the mannequin. “Sapphire, how was your day off?”
“Good.” My body was wrapped in the silk robe he provided for me, ready to put on his next piece. “How was yours?”
“My boys had baseball camp all day. Thankfully, the weather has cooled down. Otherwise, it would be unbearable.” He felt the fabric in his hands before he set it aside. “Glad to see you’re finally moving on.”
I stared at him blankly, unsure what he meant by that. “Sorry?”
He grabbed the newspaper and handed it to me. “There’s an article about you and the new guy you’re seeing.”
My fingertips immediately went numb, and when I grabbed the paper, I could barely feel it. I looked at the pictures, seeing one of us in the park, at the restaurant, and even walking into his apartment. We were smiling in almost every photograph, looking happy together like a couple in love. The article was longer than it should be, talking about the seriousness of our relationship and how Conway Barsetti was a thing of the past.
Being famous sucked.
I wondered what Conway would think if he saw this, especially since it wasn’t true, but then I realized it didn’t matter.
He’d been with dozens of women already.
I was the one who took forever to finally move on.
9
Conway
My father’s word sank deep into me, but I still didn’t do anything about it.
I’d made my choice.
Another three weeks had passed, and I was just as miserable as I was before.
Nicole started to pressure me about new pieces, but I didn’t have a single design ready. I still hadn’t slept with anyone because jerking off to Muse was a lot more pleasurable than fucking a stranger. I stopped going out with Carter because I didn’t want to bother making small talk with a woman I would never take home.
Vanessa was still pissed at me.
Marco was disappointed.
My entire life had been irrevocably changed. Muse affected so many people, and now that she was gone, people were angry. They missed her.
Fuck, I missed her.
Maybe my father was right. Maybe everyone was right.
But was it too late?
Carter stopped by in the middle of the day on Tuesday. He never did that because he was too busy with all of his business projects. But ever since Muse left, he checked on me. He tried to be discreet about it, but I knew exactly what he was doing.