Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears.
Diel’s torment had disappeared.
“Your collar …” Sela said. Gabriel refocused on his brothers.
“Is gone,” Diel said, his voice lower, stronger, and less strained. Noa moved her fingertips to his deep, gouged-out scar, softly caressing the permanently wounded skin. Diel didn’t faze her. She didn’t fear him at all. Sela approached until he stood right in front of his best friend. The room was stagnant as they all waited for what Sela would say and what Diel would do in response.
Every muscle in Diel’s body was tensed, veins protruding from his skin and tendons corded as if they were about to snap. The happiness Gabriel felt in his heart for Diel was quickly pushed away when a new concern pressed upon him—which side of Diel was now more dominant? The monster or the man?
If it was the monster …
Gabriel went to stride forward, to push Sela back until they knew if this Diel could be trusted. But before Gabriel had even made it two steps, Sela smiled widely, put his hand around Diel’s savaged neck and pulled Diel to his chest. “About fucking time, brother.”
Gabriel froze. He watched, breath held, as a tense Diel stood like a statue against Sela. Gabriel cut a quick glance to Noa. She was watching Diel closely, and even through her shield of overt coldness, Gabriel saw warmth in her stare as she watched Diel with what looked like deep pride in her eyes.
Gabriel looked back at Diel and Sela, only to see Diel’s eyes close and a long exhale sail from his mouth. Then Diel’s arms came up and briefly embraced his best friend. Gabriel’s heart boomed like a canon. Diel was embracing Sela. His collar was off, and he was staying in control.
Diel had rarely ever embraced his brothers. The brothers had barely embraced Diel. They never knew what might trigger his monster’s wrath.
Gabriel fought back the tidal wave of sadness that threatened to bring him to his knees. Diel, for as long as he had known him, had never experienced any kind of physical affection for fear of him losing control.
An entire life empty of affection …
As if Diel could hear Gabriel’s emotions battering his body from the inside out, he opened his eyes, locked them on Gabriel and moved back from Sela. Sela stepped aside.
Gabriel met Diel’s blue gaze. Gabriel sensed that familiar darkness in his brother, the one he had always known.
In less than a second, Gabriel was back in Purgatory that first day after he had stabbed Father Quinn as a teen. He was back inside the dorm that had become the Fallen’s home for too many pain-filled years. And he was back looking at the boy in chains, shackled to a narrow bed, all blue eyes and black hair, skin and bones, with darkness looming around him like a sharpened spear primed to be launched at any given moment.
He was back to the moment he awaited his brothers at the manor. When they walked through the doors, not understanding how and why they had been let out of their Brethren prison. And he remembered Diel still in his chains, remembered later when they placed the electric collar around his neck so his monster didn’t overwhelm him—so that Diel could obey the Fallen’s commandments and not be a danger to anyone within their home.
“Brother,” Gabriel rasped, jerked back into the moment and looking at Diel without his collar. Yes, Gabriel sensed Diel’s familiar darkness, the monster still living and breathing in his soul. But the man was still there too. Gabriel’s attention fell to the scar around Diel’s neck.
“I am in control,” Diel said, making Gabriel focus back on his face. Diel was breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, slow and steady. His head still ticked, his eyes still blinked too fast at times, as if he were fighting, always fighting. But …
“You’re in control,” Gabriel whispered, and something settled in his chest. No, something was being extinguished. Gabriel had seven ever-roaring fires inside him, one for each of his brothers. And one for himself. One had already been doused—Raphael, he realized. When Raphe had fallen in love with Maria, the flames of his fire had become soft-burning embers rather than a blazing inferno. And now another fire was waning in strength, fading to crackling cinders. Diel. It was the fire that belonged to Diel.
Diel’s jaw clenched, then his arms fell to his sides and his tightly fisted hands relaxed. “I’m in control,” Diel said hoarsely. His nostrils flared; his cheeks twitched with obvious concentration and effort. But he was doing it. Diel was actually staying in control. Gabriel felt a small, victorious smile etch onto his mouth. “I let him in.” Diel’s breathing came more easily the more he spoke. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he had ever been as proud of anyone as he was of Diel in that moment.