“She’s gotten to you,” Sela finally said, and Diel’s head twitched again, the tic he’d developed over the years of being trapped underneath the collar.
“I never knew there’d be more of us out there,” Diel said.
Sela sighed. Diel flicked his gaze to his best friend. Sela’s already dark eyes seemed to take on an obsidian tone. “And it was my brother,” Sela said. “When he disappeared on us all those years ago, graduated from Father Quinn’s fucked-up tutelage, it was to go to the Coven.” Not a muscle on Sela’s body moved. He was as still as the statues he often crafted. “We know he’s alive.” He met Diel’s eyes. “I know my fucker of a brother is still alive. And we know he’s somewhere close.”
“You’re going to kill him,” Diel said. It wasn’t a question. He knew it was a truth as certainly as he knew that the sun would bring a sunrise each day.
“Yes.”
Sela got to his feet, clearly still thinking about his brother, if his thunderous expression was anything to go by. Sela had secrets well hidden. Things he had never shared about himself, his past. Diel knew it. He never pushed his friend for more information. All the Fallen had things that lived in their souls unspoken. Some didn’t even remember anything before Purgatory. At least that was the case for Diel. His first memory was being taken to the underground dorm by the Brethren. Not even a flicker of life remained in his brain from before that, not even what he had done to trigger the Brethren’s interest in him at Holy Innocents Home for Children. Being branded an evil sinner was his genesis as a person. Years lost and never to be recalled. His formative years were a black void of nothingness.
At that thought, Diel felt a stirring of the rage that ran in his veins as potently as his blood. For too many years he’d lived with his monster and the constant burn of anger flooding his every cell. He didn’t know calm or happiness, quietness or solace. He knew darkness and death and the feel of fresh blood coating his palms.
Death was who he was. Death was his comfort. It was his closest ally and friend.
“If you go down this path, there’ll be consequences, brother,” Sela said, ripping Diel from his thoughts. But the aftertaste of the reminder of who he was still remained on his tongue. Noa. He had to fucking kill Noa. Everything would go back to normal if she would just die.
“Not from me,” Sela continued. “But Gabriel won’t accept it. This isn’t like Raphael bringing Maria here. This is murdering someone he vowed to protect.”
Diel’s chest tightened. His brothers were his only family. The only people who had ever been somewhat exempt from his monster’s wrath, if they didn’t taunt him or push him too far. But when he thought of his monster’s fantasy of having Noa in bed, her hands on her pussy, enticing him, and his cock deep inside her, he knew there could be no other way. He would never fuck. He couldn’t bear to have anyone touching him like that. Diel couldn’t allow his monster to win and seduce Noa.
Because his monster always won.
Diel jumped to his feet and felt sweat dripping down his face. He moved to his closet and pulled on a long-sleeved black shirt and his black boots. Sela stood by the door, silently waiting for Diel to make his choice. When Diel came back into the living room of his quarters, clothed to kill, Sela nodded at him, then left the room.
Diel checked the time. It was after midnight. He glanced out the window. The grounds were shrouded in darkness. He flicked off the lights in his rooms and sneaked out of the door. His footfalls were silent as he made his way down the hallways and to the first floor. His head twitched as he fought to remain quiet, staying vigilant against the threats of both being discovered by his brothers and the monster blindsiding him from within. He went down the stairs to the basement and moved to the door to the tunnels that connected all the manor’s buildings to the main house.
He took the key from the hook and put it in the lock. Just before he turned it, he froze, eyes on the cluster of ancient keys. Gabriel had trusted him, trusted all the brothers. Regardless of their wicked natures, and the darkness their holy brother knew burned inside them, Gabriel trusted that his brothers wouldn’t harm the Coven. He trusted that his Fallen would obey the commandments that they had lived by for so long.
Diel’s gut twisted for a second at the thought of betraying Gabriel, but then he felt the monster stir, and he wrenched the door open. His instinct for survival overrode any worry about hurting Gabe. Diel’s pulse fired into a sprint, and he fled into the tunnel, closing the door behind him.