“I’m hitting the sack. Kace owes me a blowjob.” Greer pushes past me and then exits my room without another word.
My room.
I shut the door behind him and quickly unpack. By the time my bags are empty and stowed away in the closet, I feel like puking again. My phone is turned off, and I dread turning it back on. I don’t know what’s worse: hearing the worry from Dad or not hearing anything at all.
And Canyon?
I can only imagine the hurt he’ll feel at my leaving.
He’ll feel abandoned.
It’s exactly what I did. I left him. Disappeared without a word. Disgust at myself threatens to make me sick again. I strip out of my travel clothes, take a quick shower, and climb into the big, soft bed. I turn off the lamp and barely drift off when I hear it.
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
Panic swells up inside me like a tidal wave, making my heart hammer in my chest. I fumble at the lamp, wildly searching for the mice.
Where are they hiding?
Can they make it up here?
I hear the squeaking again, but this time it’s accompanied by moaning. It takes half a second to realize it’s Kace and Greer fucking.
It’s a relief not to be mice, but annoyance quickly chases it away. What am I doing here? I don’t know these people, and I certainly don’t want this life.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice.
I leave the light on but go to sleep, eager to leave reality, even if only for a few short hours.
By the time I power up my phone the next morning, I discover I’ve missed a ton of texts and phone calls from just about everyone I know. I don’t read any of them, even though I’m dying to devour every word Canyon sent. The last message from him, though, I do read.
Canny: I know you’re at Colin’s. WTF Wonderland?
The room blurs with unshed tears. I blink them back quickly and manage a quick reply.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m safe. You don’t have to worry.
His response is immediate.
Canny: Fuck you. FUCK YOU for doing this.
I don’t have to see his face or hear his voice to feel the heartbreak I’ve caused him. I know exactly what he’s going through because my own heart is in tatters. I shoot him another apology before shutting off my phone again. A soft rap on the door startles me, and someone enters.
Colin.
He’s dressed in an immaculate suit, not a dark hair out of place. I’m not sure what to expect, but I certainly don’t anticipate his smile or for him to sit down on the bed. It reminds me of my dad, and that hurts too much to consider. Looking away, I try to keep a fresh wave of tears from escaping.
“Want to talk about it?”
I shrug. “What’s there to talk about?”
“For one, what was the catalyst for you coming here?”
I’m uncomfortable explaining myself, but I owe him something. He just welcomed me with open arms, not knowing anything except the fact I needed to be here.
“I fucked up,” I choke out. “Real bad.”
“You killed someone?”
My eyes snap to his. “W-What? Of course not.”
Colin shrugs. “Then you couldn’t have fucked up too bad. What? Your pretend daddy couldn’t take the fact you were fucking your brother?”
His words are slung out so carelessly, but they feel like whips, painfully striking me. I guess we really were that obvious. To everyone except Dad and Ryan, it seems.
“I…” There’s no sense in denying it. “I betrayed him.”
Colin scoffs and shakes his head. “Still so soft.” He reaches over and pats my leg. “Don’t worry. We’re going to finally toughen you up.”
“Colin, I don’t want to toughen—”
“Pops,” he grinds out. “You’re to call me Pops if you’re living under my roof. The one thing I demand of my men is respect. You may not be one of my men, but you rely on me now for your survival. It’s the least you can do. Breakfast is waiting downstairs.”
With those words, he leaves me. He’s right. I chose this. I asked to be here. The least I can do is offer him something he’s always asked of me.
I quickly shower and change into a pair of black, holey jeans Canyon likes to make fun of. My heart plummets, shattering at my feet. Fuck, I miss him. Yesterday had been perfect. I’d been inside him, making love to him in a way I hadn’t yet. It was incredible.
And then everything was ruined.
Throwing on a black and red Blood Gators Track hoodie over a T-shirt, I exit my room. I pass by Greer’s room, but it’s empty. I’m not sure if Kace is his boyfriend or not, but he’s no longer there. It’s not hard to locate the kitchen with boisterous voices coming from it. I make it into the dining room, where a breakfast spread has been laid out. Colin sits at the head of the table with a man near his age to his right. Greer is beside that man. Two other men are at the table, and one seat remains beside Colin.