“That’s insane,” Esme whispers. Her shoulders bow, and her bottom lip trembles.
“Yeah, it might be, but what’s wrong with that? I’ve proven that I’m up for wild ideas and crazy plans. I’m up for this. I’m totally up for this. What do you think?”
“I think…I think that…that it’s a huge step.”
“I’m not talking about rushing into it. I’m just telling you where I’m at. The rest will come if we give it time.”
“That’s very sage,” she mutters while not looking at me. “You sound like Pappy S, all-wise and stuff.”
“I don’t know if it’s wise since I’m not trying to be. Again, I’m just trying to tell you where I’m at.”
“Because you’re too nice.”
“Well, I can be not nice when I want to be.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Maybe that’s true.”
“It is. And I’m glad. I’m glad because I’m sick of knowing assholes. I can’t even be tough when I try to be tough. We already know that, so there’s no hope for me. There’s no hope unless I have a reason to hope. I seriously never thought anyone could restore my faith in humanity. I thought I was done. I was fine being a crazy pet lady while being a hermit up in my craft rooms. Then you came and made this house feel all vibrant and alive again, which is scarier than anything. Hope. Anyone would say that. I thought I could chase you away, and the hope would go away too, but I can’t. You’re too stubborn.”
“If I’m too nice, then I’m also too stubborn. I get told that all the time.”
Esme pauses. Her glorious eyes sweep up to mine, and this time, they’re different. They’re full of all the hope she’s trying to deny, which makes my stomach squeeze because, god, is she beautiful. Hope is what was missing all this time since the light had gone out of her, but now it’s back, and however tentatively it’s shining right now, at least it’s still shining.
“I’m glad you’re stubborn too. I’m so glad you don’t want to leave, and I’m glad you’re willing to stand here and fight for me and that you have the balls and the certainty to tell me it’s all going to work out.”
“Are you?”
“I am.”
I let out this massive sigh of relief that reverberates throughout the house like it’s a big empty cave. “Good.” I was full of words, but all of a sudden, that’s all I can get out again as it takes me a minute to work through the lump in my throat. “Can I hug you now?”
“ I really wish you would.”
Esme and I cover the distance together. I open my arms, and she falls into them. She has always fit there, and she fits there now, just as perfect as the first time and just as perfect as every time we’ll do this in the future. And I hope we do it a lot. Not only the bedroom stuff but all the life stuff as well. I caress her hair gently, promising her with a single touch that I’ll be here for all of it, and we’ll take it slow. That we’ll learn and grow and have many experiences together. The good stuff, the tough stuff, I’m okay with all of it.
I tilt Esme’s chin up, and I’m about to kiss her when I spot a dark black blob on the wall five feet behind her. “Hector,” I whisper against her mouth.
“Talk dirty to me,” Esme giggles.
“No, he’s right behind you.”
“Oh, for the love of bacon bits,” Esme mutters.
Ignoring Hector, I kiss Esme furiously. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulls on one of my ears, and tugs on my hair while kissing me back.
We’ll capture her spider in a few minutes since he’s not going anywhere. He just likes us to see that he’s out. I think Hector is actually quite playful. At least, I think so. I’m choosing to think he’s not a stalker tarantula or some sort of pro spider spy. Tomorrow, first thing, I’m going to go out and get him a new enclosure—a big one with tons of room. If he can’t get out, I’m sure Esme will take him out and spend lots of time with him because she loves that spider. And I know for a fact that I’m falling for her, so maybe I can make my peace with the overly hairy, eight-legged creeper too.
EPILOGUE
Esme
Maybe it’s lame to have a party for your first anniversary, but if that’s the case, then we’re super lame, epic lame, and bacon bits lame. Wilder is just fine with it, and I’m fine with it too. I don’t mind being lame if we can be lame together, but we’re not. Or rather, I don’t think so. I think a party for all our friends and family to finally get together and meet is just the right thing.