Alice points at the screen. "I gathered that from the little blue guy here. My question is why is this a big deal? Are you dying or something?" Her gaze turns accusing. "You said you WEREN'T dying."
"I'm not. At least, not right now." I gesture at the small screen. "My lungs are cybernetic. That data pad checks my systems and makes sure that everything is running as it should. That I'm getting enough air in my system."
She stares at me, then back down at the pad. "Your oxygen levels are a concern?"
I shrug. "How much do you want to know?"
"All of it?" Alice sits down on the ground in front of me, crossing her legs underneath her. She gestures up at me, indicating I should continue.
In a way, I'm flattered that she wants to know so much. It's just not something I like talking about. At all. But this is Alice, and for some reason, I'm desperate to make her happy even if it means spilling my guts—so to speak. I sit down across from her, doing everything that I can not to reach for the pad cradled in her grasp. "I was born with weak, malformed lungs. Genetic defect." The words stick in my throat despite my attempts to speak casually. "For the first ten years of my life or so I basically lived as an invalid. I wasn't allowed to do strenuous things because my lungs couldn't handle it. My parents finally found a medic that was willing to replace my lungs with artificial ones, and after that, I was allowed to have a normal life."
"That's not that big of a deal—"
"A few years after I started traveling on the Little Sister with my brothers, I began to have trouble breathing." Even now, just thinking about it makes my chest tighten. "I thought it was nothing at first, so I ignored it. It got so bad that I collapsed on a shipping run between a couple of remote farm planets and almost died. Turns out my lungs were failing, and I was put into stasis while my brothers hustled up the credits for a new set. I don't remember much about that time, but I remember the feeling of not being able to breathe."
I rub my chest. Even now, my breath feels labored. I know it's in my head, but I still want to check the readouts on the screen one more time. Just to be sure.
"So…that's me." I try to give her a lighthearted grin. "On my third set of lungs and just waiting for these to kef up on me."
Alice's expression is full of sympathy, her eyes soft. Wordless, she holds the pad out to me.
I take it back.
I also glance at the screen, just because I've become dependent on that visual that tells me that everything is fine. Even if it's flashing red, there's not a lot I can do about it anyhow.
Alice gets to her knees, and for a moment I think she's going to stand. She doesn't, though. She just crawls forward and puts her hands on me, moving into my lap. She snuggles against my chest, wrapping her arms around me.
"What's that for?" I ask, curious.
"You looked like you needed a hug." She presses her cheek to my skin, cuddling me.
Huh. I'm not the huggy, affectionate sort. That's Adiron. Maybe it was growing up the way I did, watching my rough-and-tumble brothers while I sat on the sidelines and struggled to breathe, but I've never been the most affectionate. I've always held myself apart. I like hugging Alice, though, and I hold her close, running my hand up and down her back, breathing in her scent.
"Does kissing bother you?" she asks suddenly.
"Why would kissing bother me?" So she's thinking about kissing, is she?
Alice leans back, looking up. "Because my mouth would be on yours. Your face would be occupied, so to speak. I don't want you to feel like I'm cutting off your airflow when I kiss you."
"You're not." I'm not even thinking about airflow when Alice's mouth is on mine. I'm thinking more about blood flow in my southern regions.
"Maybe we should skip mouth kissing for a while anyhow."
I'm amused at the decisive tone in Alice's voice. Now she's trying to protect me from…her kisses? She's absolutely adorable sometimes. "Now why would we want to do something like that? We'd just be torturing ourselves."
"I didn't say we couldn't kiss." She turns her head slightly and brushes her lips against my skin. "Just that maybe we avoided mouths for a while. Just until you feel more comfortable."
I want to tell her that I'm not uncomfortable at all. That I like kissing her soft mouth. But Alice has already taken things into her own hands. Her arms slide around my neck and then she's burying her face against my throat, licking and sucking at my skin.