“You should want to weep,” the angel said softly.
I jerked my heard toward the angel. There was a sadness in the angel’s voice and in his smile that shocked me. I’d always believed angels were without emotion, but what I heard in his words was real.
“Zayne had accomplished what so very few have ever done on their own,” he said. “If I had been him, I would’ve remained in the Heavens. I would’ve helped ensure that Heaven could no longer be accessed, sealing the gates before any corrupt soul could enter.”
“Seal the gates?” I blinked the tears from my eyes.
The Throne nodded. “Many of us feel that this world,” he said, spreading his arms wide, “has become a lost cause. That there will be no stopping Gabriel, and all that we can do is prevent his taint from reaching us.”
Dumbfounded, I stared at him. “You basically want to quarantine Heaven from Earth?”
“But here I am instead,” he said, as if that excused the fact that there were angels who basically wanted to wash their hands of their own freaking mess called Gabriel.
The only thing that could’ve distracted me from how utterly infuriating angels were was what he said next.
“Zayne was presented with many choices. He could go on to eternal peace. Reborn, he could remain in the Heavens to guard the gates. He could’ve chosen to train with our armies for the final battle that will come no matter what Gabriel accomplishes. He could’ve chosen to return to Earth at the right moment, the one where he would be needed most. But he chose to return to you, to fight beside you now and forever, even though we warned him that if he were to return now, he would Fall.” There was a short laugh that sounded like wind on the mountains. “Even if he hadn’t so vocally admitted what he wanted or if we hadn’t presented him with such choices, we knew he would’ve found a way to return to you.”
And wasn’t that what he’d promised me? That no matter what, he’d find his way back to me.
“So, he Fell, and a Fallen can only be stripped of their wings and grace once they are earthbound,” the Throne explained. “No angel with the power to do so will attempt such a thing in these times.” There was a pause. “Besides, we hoped that even as a Fallen, he would remain...useful to our cause. That he would retain who he was, in his heart, and be able to help defeat Gabriel. We warned him about the burn upon reentry.”
“What does that mean exactly? The burn upon reentry?”
“When he Fell, he lost his Glory, and was exposed to the worst of the human soul. Greed. Lust. Gluttony. Sloth. Pride—”
“Wrath. Envy. I get it,” I cut the Throne off, and if I hadn’t already faced down Gabriel and if my father wasn’t the archangel Michael, I might have been cowed by the look the Throne gave me. “He said something about feeling too much. It was like—I don’t know. He seemed to find things about me familiar, but what he was feeling was blocking him or something. He seemed to be able to sense the grace in me. He attacked.”
“That’s because when he Fell, he was not only witness to the sin of humanity, he was exposed to the anger and bitterness of those who Fell before him.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it. I...I couldn’t even comprehend that, couldn’t even begin to understand what Zayne must be feeling.
“We warned him that the Fall could overload his senses and infect him, potentially erasing who he was, but he was willing to risk becoming something as vile and evil as any demon, for you.”
His words were a stab to the heart.
“When he saw you tonight, he sensed your grace. The purity even in your muddied blood called to him,” he said, and I couldn’t even work up the energy to be offended by the muddied blood part. “In his conflicted state and with the anger and bitterness of all that Fell before him, he most likely viewed you as one of the brethren who’d cast him from the Heavens. He will see the Wardens the same way. The longer he remains in such a state, the more likely he is to act upon the violence that is seeping into every pore. He will become a danger to not just you or the Wardens, but to humans—to innocents.” The Throne sighed. “A Fallen in possession of their grace is a very dangerous foe, no matter how clear their heart and mind is. We’d hoped he’d reenter unscathed. We were wrong. So here we are.”
Those four words were so final.
An unbearable weight pressed down on my chest. Silly me for believing that my heart had taken all the pain it could. I’d been wrong. It was still in there, breaking all over again. He’d given up everything to be with me, and in a horrific twist of fate it sounded like he’d become something that he would’ve loathed.