There was too much information to go through in one night. And, we didn’t even know where to begin. One thing, in particular though, stood out. It was the name and contact information of a lawyer in Colorado. Next to the name was a figure—$3,500 dollars.
“We’ve got to contact this lawyer,” said Cameron. “That’s where we start.”
We went out of the cabin with more questions than we had going in, but at least we had Jake’s laptop, and we had a lead.
We followed the trail of woodland star petals through the woods.
“We still don’t know why Jake gave us a password, Swan Lake,” said Matty.
“I think I might have an idea about that,” I said. “We’ll have to check his browser history. Do any of you guys know anything about the deep web?”
At first, when the idea flashed in my mind. The idea of continuing to put on shows, not with Jake, but with his friends. I scolded myself for entertaining such a thought. Not a minute later, I was scolding myself for being such a prude.
Maybe we could find another way to help Jake. Maybe Jake was beyond help. And the agency….maybe we could find another way. And maybe the agency, too, was beyond help.
Ultimately, these thoughts were simply excuses, and I knew that. I was trying to trick myself out of doing what I knew I should do, what I knew I really wanted to do.
Why am I constantly trying to talk myself out of doing what I want?
Being with Jake these last few days has opened up to me possibilities I couldn’t imagine I would be willing to explore. Now, when Jake needs me, is this the time to put up arbitrary limits? Or isn’t this the perfect opportunity to push the limits even further?
The more I thought about it, the more excited I became at the prospect. All of a sudden, Bonita’s stories about her seven lovers, which had seemed to me unfathomable at the time, were now within my grasp.
As if I needed further encouragement, the photoshoots we did the following morning were group shots. And as I instructed the boys on the poses I wanted, in my mind I was replacing Michael with Cameron, Kurt with Dalton, Andy with Austin, and so on. I even felt an agitation stir in my loins and had to resist not slipping a hand from the camera and sliding it down my pants.
On the bus ride back to the lodge, I ran through the different ways I might be able to broach the topic with Jake’s friends. Time was working against me—there simply wasn’t enough of it for me to be coy or to let the idea simmer and grow naturally. I didn’t panic though. The lack of time, I was sure, worked in my favor. If it weren’t for the urgency, I doubted I would ever be able to make such a bold suggestion.
If necessity is the mother of invention, then urgency is the executioner of inhibition. My inhibitions were on their last breaths. It was time I put them to a merciful end.
17
Matty
Driving down to Perth, Austin, Cameron and I exchanged wild ideas about the kinds of adventures we would get up to with Jake, each trying to outdo the other. I said we should rent some snow bikes and head out to Whitefish. “Two seaters,” Austin said, “because you know we’re going to meet some girls.”
“And we’ll go skinny dipping in the lake,” I said.
“Then rent a cabin for our debaucherous orgies,” Cameron said.
Halfway into the drive, we’d imagined ourselves involved in all sorts of adventures— running from the law, a sexy girl by our side. We laughed. If only we’d known how prophetic our wild scenarios would turn out to be.
In contrast to our enthusiastic drive to Montana, our arrival was a cold shower. Jake was surprised to see us. It was kind of the point, but he didn’t exactly seem pleased and he also looked worried. We would find out not a half-hour later why.
He had us meet him in a rundown shack he was squatting in, and shortly after our arrival a swarm of police arrived and hauled him away. He only had the time to give us a panicked cryptic message—find Greta, get the rucksack, open the file labeled Redemption.
Man, Jake, what kind of trouble did you get yourself into? And why didn’t you tell me anything about it? Maybe I could have helped.
We found Greta, but she didn’t have any more of an idea of what Jake was into than we did. Our only lead was a lawyer in Colorado. The following morning, we phoned the lawyer. She was familiar with the case, albeit only vaguely. Apparently Jake had contacted her a few months ago. Her retainer was three thousand five hundred dollars - but that was before he got arrested. Now, she was asking for eight thousand.