I snort. “If there’s anyone in this room who believes that line, I have a nice oceanfront property in Ohio to sell them.”
“Hades.” She stops stroking Dionysus and sits up straight. “Was that a joke?” She points at Persephone. “What have you done to him? Three days and he’s cracking jokes. It’s weird and unnatural, and you both need to stop this immediately.”
Persephone huffs out a breath. “Maybe you’d know he has a dry sense of humor if you stopped talking long enough to let him get a word in edgewise.”
Hermes blinks slowly. “Um.”
“And for another thing, if you’re such good friends, maybe consider not running directly back to Zeus and tattling about everything you’ve seen here every time you visit. That kind of thing makes you a terrible friend, not a good one, no matter how many nights you end up drunkenly crashing at Hades’s house.”
Hermes does another slow blink. “Hades, I’m in love.”
“Down, girl.”
“That’s another joke.” She whoops and does a full body wiggle that forces Dionysus to move fast to keep her from toppling off the arm of the chair. “Oh my gods, I love her.” She straightens and grins at Persephone. “You are seriously a delight.”
Persephone turns to me. “I just yelled at her, and now she’s talking about how much she loves me. What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s just Hermes.” I shrug. “Carrying tales back and forth across the River Styx is part of her job. It’s why all these people are here.”
Persephone’s cheeks gain two bright spots of color. “Right. I forgot for a second.”
She forgot because she was so quick to rush to my defense. I don’t get it. She has nothing to gain from defending me. She came to me for protection, not the other way around. Once again, Dionysus saves me from having to come up with a suitable response.
He laughs. “You should see how pissed Zeus is. He’s playing it cool in public, but rumor has it that he destroyed an entire room when he found out where you’d gone. When he realizes that you’re riding Hades’s cock for everyone to see?” He shakes his head. “Nuclear doesn’t begin to cover it.”
Persephone goes tense, and I don’t have to see her face to know she’s thinking about her sisters. She might have conflicted feelings about her mother, but from everything she’s said and everything I’ve seen, the same cannot be said of the other Dimitriou sisters. If there’s one pressure point Zeus has available to him, it’s them. Fuck. I should have thought of that sooner. I can’t send my people to keep them safe without violating the treaty, and there’s no way Zeus will stand by if I allow them into my home. It’s a problem I don’t have a ready solution to, but I’ll figure it out.
I press a kiss to her temple. “Tired?”
“Is that a euphemism for do I want to get out of here and go up to your room?” She twists just enough for her lips to brush mine. “If so, then yes. If not, then be prepared for me to convince you otherwise.”
“I. Love. Her.” Hermes claps. “Hades, you have to keep her. She’s turning you human and you’re turning her interesting, and it’s been less than a week. Imagine how entertaining you’ll both be in a year or five.”
“Hermes.” I sink enough warning into my tone to shock anyone to their senses.
Naturally, she ignores me. “Though I suppose if you tempt Zeus into striking, then we’re looking at war, and that will put a damper on things.”
Persephone turns back to her. “Wait, war? If he breaks the treaty, the Thirteen will come after him. That’s how it works.”
“Correction, that’s how it’s supposed to work.” Hermes shrugs a shoulder. “The truth is that at least a third of them are Zeus’s little minions and are heavily invested in keeping the status quo. They’ll join with him to stomp Hades into oblivion if they think he’s going to rock the boat.”
“And the other two thirds?”
Another shrug. “Could go either way.”
The information isn’t exactly a surprise, though it’s one hell of a disappointment. If I’m the one to step out of line, all of them will unite to bring me down without hesitation. Hermes and Dionysus might feel bad about it, but they’ll fall in with the others when push comes to shove. Of course the same doesn’t apply when it comes to that piece of shit Zeus.
I gather Persephone in my arms and stand, ignoring her protests that she can walk. Carrying her right now isn’t about what she can and can’t do. It’s about what I want, about the small bit of comfort I’ll allow myself. I have to think, and I can’t do that here. Though I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. We’ve already laid out our plan and jumped into a free fall. There’s no going back now. No matter what the consequences are, we have to see this through to the end.