With a sigh, I stop reading the rest of them, since I have them all memorized by now, sliding the notes back into my purse. With each new delivery that arrived, I learned something new about Quinn. He shared everything from the sweetest to the most embarrassing, and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was showing me I could trust him with my heart, because he was trusting me with his, along with all his secrets, hopes, and dreams. He’s making me want to trust him with everything, and he’s making me want to put down my guard and stop being afraid that being with me is going to distract him from his job. Because that’s what it boils down to. It doesn’t matter if he breaks my heart; I’m strong. I’ll survive… maybe. But I wouldn’t be able to survive knowing I did something to mess up any part of his happiness. And football is what makes him happy. Being here in Virginia, playing for a team that respects him instead of envies him, is all he’s ever wanted. I don’t want to get in the way of that.
Picking up my phone, I start scrolling through the comments again that I was reading online before we were interrupted by the doorbell.
“Anonymous6783 said, ‘Can’t wait to see Bagley’s career go down the toilet now that he’s got a woman distracting him,’” I read. “And sportstalkinvirginia said, ‘Looks like Bagley cares more about wedding rings than Super Bowl rings. So much for the Sharks finally winning a game.’”
With a silent scream, I flop back onto the couch, tossing my phone down to the carpet and flinging my arm over my face after making the mistake of checking social media.
“Why are you letting the opinions of strangers online dictate how you live your life?” Wren asks me for the tenth time since I got to her house.
“Don’t ask her any hard questions right now; she’s clearly insane. She let Quinn walk away from giving her a perfectly good orgasm two nights ago,” Tess has to remind everyone.
I lift up the hand that isn’t covering my eyes high above my body and give Tess the finger, in the corner of the room where she, Birdie, and Wren are sitting on a replica of our purple picnic table.
When Shepherd surprised Wren by buying her the home of her dreams on Summersweet, a 6,000 square foot, three-story monstrosity that sits right on the water with its own private dock, he also surprised the rest of us by turning half the finished basement into a bar. Because obviously the other half was for his giant craft room, complete with a ladder on wheels to get him around his floor-to-ceiling shelves for all his craft supplies.
For Christmas this past year, he even got us a purple neon bar sign that says Sip and Bitch to hang on the wall, and he had someone custom make a purple picnic table that, yes, we did indeed carve our names into on Christmas Eve. Shepherd wanted to make sure we had a safe place to hang out during the cold winter months, when the heat lamps Laura puts around the picnic table area of the Dip and Twist just don’t cut it, and when the crowds get to be a bit much and we don’t want to take a perfectly good table away from a paying customer.
My best friend has the perfect life. Birdie has the perfect life, and Tess has the perfect life. Jealously is an unwelcome feeling I try to push away, but it doesn’t work. Tears pool in my eyes, and I’m thankful for the covering of my arm to hide them.
“I’m nothing but a distraction, who’s bad for his game and ruining his career,” I speak quietly, hating how weak and pathetic my voice sounds.
“Don’t you think Wren and I have had those same fears being with professional athletes?” Birdie asks, making me finally fling my arm off my face and sit up on the sectional.
“How do you get past it?” I ask them. “How do you get past the worry that you’ve already brought enough chaos into a man’s life, and you know how much it means to him to finally be playing for a team that feels like family to him and makes him remember how much he loves the game?”
“You know you’re fucking worth it,” Wren says sternly, smacking her plastic cup down on the table and narrowing her eyes at me.
“Exactly.” Birdie nods firmly in agreement, making Tess snort.
“Some just take a little longer than others to know it.”
“Oh, shut up; I figured it out soon enough,” Birdie complains to her.
“He’s been telling you since that lunch just how amazing he knows you are, and he just told you two nights ago none of it was pretend and it was all real for him. How in the hell are you still questioning that you are worth it to him and that you deserve all this hot, sweet goodness he’s brought into your life?” Wren asks with a shake of her head.