Why did this have to happen in front of a bunch of cheerleaders whose job it is to literally scream the loudest? It couldn’t have happened in front of a bunch of nuns who took a vow of silence?
Fucking Quinn Bagley….
CHAPTER 10
Quinn
“I am shooketh!”
Quinn: Should I wear the blue shirt or the white shirt to lunch on Saturday? *photo attachment*
Emily: Who is this?
Quinn: Exactly how many men are you going to lunch with on Saturday who text you a picture of clothing options?
Emily: You’d be surprised. I had to settle an argument last week between Palmer and Shepherd about what they were going to wear to Palmer’s bachelor party in a few months.
Quinn: Who won?
Emily: The point had to go to Palmer. I agreed with him that matching glittery shirts that say Palmer’s Farewell Tour is a bit much.
Quinn: They sound fun. I want to hang out with them.
Emily: No, they aren’t, and no, you don’t. Wear the blue shirt; it matches your eyes.
Emily: Don’t you dare say one word about me noticing your eyes. Yes, I noticed them. Yes, they’re nice. Don’t make a big thing out of it.
Quinn: Wouldn’t dream of it. Signed, Nice Eyes.
Emily: What if your boss asks me personal questions about you?
Quinn: Good morning to you too. Nice to know you’re thinking about me.
Emily: Oh, I sure was. I was bored to death at work, thinking about shoving these scissors right into my brain to end my misery, and BOOM! There you were.
Quinn: You’re really going to ace this lunch and make my boss believe you can actually stand me. I should probably clean up my resume.
Emily: Oh, calm down. I can pretend to not be annoyed by the sight of you for a few hours. Which brings me back to my original question. What if your boss asks me something personal about you? We’ve technically been “dating” for five months. I should probably know more about you than what’s readily available on the internet.
Quinn: My favorite color is blue, my favorite city to visit is New Orleans, my favorite movie is Varsity Blues, my favorite snack is Nutter Butters, and my first word when I was a baby was “ball.” Your turn.
Emily: My favorite color is red, my favorite city to visit is Nashville, my favorite movie is Bring it On—the original of course, because all the remakes are TRASH, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise—my favorite snack is Oreos, and my first word when I was baby was “touchdown.”
Quinn: You’re lying.
Emily: Seriously. Every remake of Bring it On, including part 2, was TRASH.
Quinn: You know damn well that’s not what I was referring to. Your first word was NOT “touchdown.”
Emily: Swear on everyone I love’s life. You can ask my family. My brothers had this handheld football game they were constantly playing when I was a baby. A little jingle would play when you’d score, and the robotic voice would say “TOUCHDOWN!” One time, the little robotic voice didn’t say it, so I did. True story.
Quinn: Marry me.
Emily: No.
Quinn: I really don’t like how quickly you replied to that. What if I was serious? You wouldn’t even want to think on it for a minute?
Emily: *thinking*
Emily: No.
Quinn: Wow. WOW. You’re lucky you noticed my nice eyes otherwise I’d be really offended right now.
Quinn: Emily Flanagan, I am shooketh!
Emily: Am I supposed to do a cheer about this or something? Help me out here.
Quinn: You made poor Brett Crawford walk through the dorm halls naked, squawking like a chicken, while he tossed out pieces of Colonel Sanders like rose petals at a wedding, after he pissed the bed when he woke up to find the two live snakes you put in there while he was sleeping!
Emily: Fucking Bodhi! How did he even get to you when you’re on the mainland?
Quinn: Oh, he gave me his number that first night I stayed at the hotel in case of an emergency. Finding out what happened to naked Brett was an emergency. It was keeping me up at night, man. And don’t be too hard on Bodhi. I honestly think he forgot he was speaking to the enemy. That guy smokes A LOT of weed. He’s fun.
Emily: Whatever. And I don’t want to hear “poor Brett” out of your mouth again. I overheard him talking about slipping something in a girl’s drink at a party in college, and when I called home to tell the girls and ask for advice, Tess dared me to make him rethink his life choices.
Quinn: What a piece of shit.
Emily: Don’t worry. He rethought his life choices. He actually became president of our college’s rape prevention group.
Quinn: I am equally amazed by you and scared of you. Keep that shit up.
Quinn: I’m picking you up on the island.
Emily: For the last time, you are NOT coming all the way out here to the island, just to take me right back to the mainland a block from your hotel. That’s a complete waste of time. I’ll meet you at the restaurant like we agreed.