Five heartbeats passed while he considered what she was not saying. As Caroline watched, the warm glow faded from his eyes. He nodded abruptly and kissed her on the forehead.
“I understand,” he said and headed up the stairs.
Caroline watched him go, her heart rocking in her chest like a scared child trying to comfort itself. It was a bit like seeing a familiar shoreline grow distant, knowing there would be no going back. She told herself this was for the best, but that didn’t ease the emptiness.
“You’re sending my brother up to bed all alone?” Dane came toward her from the hallway leading to the kitchen. The lights had been turned off in the foyer, and the glow from the Christmas tree lent a romantic air.
“I wanted to check my email and see if I passed my exams.”
“But you’re not really worried about that, are you?”
Instead of answering, she turned toward Charles’s study. Dane trailed after her, a looming presence just behind her shoulder. What did he want? She thought about earlier that day when Simon had wondered if she’d gone walking with Dane. She wondered if Simon cared any longer that she and Dane were alone together in the quiet house.
She sat at the desk and turned on the computer. As it warmed up, she turned her attention to Dane, who’d slumped into a traditional wingback chair by the fireplace.
“Did you need to use the computer as well?”
“No.”
Then why was he here? “I’m
sorry to hear that Francine’s father is ill. You must be disappointed that she won’t be able to join you for Christmas.”
He sat forward, leaned his forearms on his thighs, and stared at the floor. “Not as disappointed as you might think. We’re having problems.”
A faint uneasiness began to swirl in Caroline’s stomach, but she kept her tone light. “Nothing serious, I hope.”
“Serious enough that I’m considering breaking off our engagement.”
Thinking of what she’d seen in Simon’s condo that night, Caroline wasn’t surprised.
“All couples fight,” she said. “Are you sure you’re not overreacting? I’m sure she loves you—”
Hollow-eyed, Dane said, “The trouble is I’m not sure I love her.”
With those words, Caroline glimpsed the suffering Dane had hidden from his family these last few days. “But you’ve been engaged three years.”
“And isn’t it odd that we’ve yet to set a date? As if maybe I don’t want to marry her?”
“But you must have loved her once. You proposed.”
Dane drew in a huge breath and covered his face with his hands. Sitting up straight, he expelled the air from his lungs in a bitter laugh and raked his fingers back through his hair.
His bleak expression matched his tone as he said, “I proposed because she got pregnant. No one in the family knows that.”
“But…”
Dane read her mind. “She miscarried.”
And he was too honorable to walk away from the promises he’d made to her. Caroline’s opinion of him, already high, soared.
“I can’t lie to her or myself any longer. I don’t love her. I never really did. And that’s something I figured out after watching you and Simon together.”
“Us?”
“My brother has never acted with any woman the way he behaves with you. I’ve got to say I’ve had a great time the last couple days letting him think that I was interested in you. I honestly think he’d kill me if I tried anything.” Dane paused and sent a wry smile in her direction. At that moment, he looked so much like his brother that Caroline lost her breath. “I’m really happy for you two.”
Happy for them? Happy because of a lie? As empty as she’d felt earlier, Caroline wouldn’t have guessed her chest could get any more hollow.