I’d been in a good mood when I walked into the restaurant. Maybe, I’d thought, I could finally forget. Maybe I could finally let go of the pain I’d been carrying around. If I liked my boss’s cousin, then maybe I could have some fun. Maybe for once, I could put aside the shadow of grief and loss that had hung over me like a cloud for far too long.
I recognized my date from his picture. He was as good-looking in real life, and he looked happy to see me.
Then like a bad omen, something had changed in the air in the restaurant. I’d felt it like a tingle in my spine, a tensing of my whole body, and I’d instinctively turned my gaze, only a little, and across a table from a silky head of wavy blonde hair, staring at me with a gaze like cold steel, was Jackson.
The combination of yearning and panic was overwhelming, erasing all the thoughts I’d been having with only one. How much I missed him still, and how ashamed I was of the fact that I couldn’t get over him. I had to fight the urge to go to him, tell him how much I’d missed him, to touch him, and stare forever at his face, more matured now, but still as achingly handsome as I remembered. But the disdain I saw in his eyes, the way they felt like they were stripping me of everything, my clothes, even my dignity, was too much for me. I turned and left, and I was never able to give my boss a satisfactory explanation as to why I stood her cousin up.
Even though there is a thick knot of tension in my stomach now, I doubt that seeing Jackson again would have as strong an effect as to make me run out of any room. I’m a long way from the girl who stood up her date because of one look from him. I’m a very long way from the girl who left Halcyon seven years ago, right before my eighteenth birthday. Time has healed me in many ways. I’m far from the days when I used to wish Jackson would come to find me. I’m far from the days of waking up with tears on my pillow. Years of study and work has given me some level of sophistication and thickened my skin a little. If I’m going to be in the same house with Jackson, then I’m going to smile, be cool, let him know that the past is past, and that he no longer means anything to me.
Despite my decision, I still find myself surreptitiously checking my appearance in the side mirror as we pass the gates and glide down the long driveway into Halcyon. My appearance hasn’t changed a lot since I left. My dark hair has a few highlights in it courtesy of the hairdresser May drags me to once a month. Right now, it’s in the high ponytail I favor when I travel. Briefly, I wonder if I should bring it down and maybe brush it, but I resist the temptation, and not just because Nick doesn’t miss a thing, and I don’t want to answer his questions later, but also because I’m too proud to allow myself to care about my appearance because of Jackson.
Thankfully, I’m well dressed. High-heeled black boots and perfectly fitting light blue jeans, flatter my long legs, and a dark blue cashmere top shows off my slim figure without being too clingy. I may not be wearing couture, but at least I wouldn’t be facing Jackson looking like something the cat dragged in.
Nick clears the driveway, leaving the shield of the trees behind, and for the first time in seven years, I come face to face with the house I fell in love with when I was a teenager. It hasn’t changed. It’s still as beautiful, with the white stone walls gleaming in the sun. A little moisture gathers in my eyes and I quickly blink it away.
“I can’t get over how beautiful it is,” Nick is saying, uncharacteristically sober as we climb out of the car. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to actually live here, can you?”
I turn from my contemplation of the house and stare at him. Before I can attempt to answer his question though, I hear the sound of the front door opening. I turn towards the sound, and immediately, my heart explodes,
slamming into my ribs with a painful force as I take in the sight of Jackson Lockewood standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on me.
I can’t tear my eyes away from him. His face is chiseled, perfect, and even with his impassive expression, he’s still the best thing I’ve seen all day.
He looks older, of course. There’s no boyishness in his features now, but somehow, he looks better, every inch the handsome man he was always going to be. His shoulders are broader, and the sleeves of his pale blue shirt are folded all the way to the elbow, so I can see the strong, lean muscle of his arms. Dark gray trousers show off his narrow hips and the length of his legs. He could be a model, I think breathlessly, one of the more perfect ones, if not for the contempt in his familiar gray eyes as he looks at me.
I swallow, and tear my eyes away from him, turning to Nick, who seems unaware that even the air seems to be crackling.
“I brought her back in one piece,” he says drolly, gesturing towards the car, “and Liv too,” he adds with a grin. He looks from me to Jackson, as if wondering if the situation warrants an introduction. “You two have met,” he states with a frown.
“Yes, of course.” Jackson steps out of the doorway and walks down the stairs into the sun. His walk is a long, loose, and devastatingly sexy stride. He saunters right up to me, and smiles, momentarily disorienting me. “Welcome back Olivia,” he murmurs. “How long has it been?”
He hasn’t even touched me, and I can feel him, I can feel him in every cell of my body, in every inch of my skin. I pull in a breath. “Seven years,” I say steadily, unwilling to acknowledge that time, three years ago in the New York restaurant.
He raises a brow, and there’s a small smile playing on his beautiful lips. “Seven years then,” He says. “Much too long, isn’t it?” He pauses and reaches for me, and I stiffen, bracing myself for his touch, but his hand only goes up to my hair to tuck a stray strand behind my ear.
I look up at his face, searching for a clue to what he’s thinking, because I’m not fooled by his apparent friendliness. I know what he thinks about me. I know that, underneath his smile and welcoming speech, he despises me.
“You look wonderful,” he says, confusing me further. Of all the welcomes I had allowed myself to expect, I hadn’t expected compliments.
“Thank you,” I say, stepping away from him as I try to get a handle on the chaotic emotions he’s awakened in just these few moments. Nick is watching us, eyebrows raised in a questioning expression. I shrug and move towards the rear door of the car, not really listening as Jackson and Nick talk about the merits of the car. I open the door and reach for my cases.
“Leave them.” It’s Jackson voice. So close, I almost jump out of my skin. He’s right beside me, one hand resting on the roof of the car, the expanse of his chest right on a level with my eyes. “I’m sure we can have someone bring them to your room.”
Even as he speaks, I can already see someone hurrying around the side of the house, coming towards us, a servant, no doubt. Someone to lift, carry, unpack, and ensure that the Lockewoods never have to lift a finger to do anything menial.
I ignore Jackson and pull out the case with my camera equipment. “I’d rather carry this myself.” I say. “It’s my equipment.”
The next moment his fingers close over mine on the handle, sending an unbearable shock of sexual awareness coursing through me.
I pull my hand away, leaving him holding the case, and move as far away from him as I can manage without looking too skittish. My heart is pounding, and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. This is such a bad way to start my short stay in Halcyon.
“Then I’ll take it.” He smiles, reminding me of a wolf who knows he has his prey cornered. “You don’t think I’ll damage your equipment, do you?”
I shake my head, but he’s already turned towards the door, leaving Nick and me to follow. I refuse to look at Nick as we take the steps up to the front door of the house, and as I pass the very spot where I first met Jackson, I find myself wondering how on earth I’ll survive a week of this.
Chapter Four
Past