When we’re done he kisses the middle of my palm, making me tremble.
“You’re perfect.” He tells me, pulling me close.
They’re not the words I want to hear, but I don’t care. I press my body closer to his and offer my lips for another kiss. He groans and pushes me gently back unto the bed, his lips still on mine, and his tongue in my mouth. His fingers move between my legs, stroking, caressing, and mimicking the movements of his tongue above.
I spread my legs wider, easing his way, moaning into his kiss. When I can’t take it anymore, I reach for him, guiding him towards where my need for him is driving me crazy.
He covers me with his body, placing his weight on his elbows as he eases himself into me. I press my hips forward to accommodate him, moaning as he fills me totally.
My breath comes out in a long sigh, and I reach for him, running my hands down his tightly muscled arms. He grips my leg, lifting it to hook it around his waist, then he rocks backwards, and forward again, sliding slowly in and out of me. His eyes are on my face, locked on mine, and his lip are gently parted, his breath ragged and raw. His brow furrows in concentration as he thrusts, his arousal clearly visible on his face. I meet each thrust with my hips, matching his rhythm, my whole consciousness concentrated on his hard length moving in and out of me, stroking me so surely, so sweetly. I tighten my legs around him, pressing his hips closer to me, feeling his muscles flex as he drives into me again and again.
He starts to go faster, each thrust spreading the agonizing pleasure gathering where his body meets mine. I grip the sheets, screaming as my body tightens, and my back bows off the bed. He doesn’t stop thrusting until my body shatters completely, then he stiffens and groans, his eyes closed, his body shuddering as he comes inside me.
I wake up sometime in the night. The room is dark except for the faint glow of the city lights from outside the windows. David’s arms are wrapped around me, his head resting on my breasts.
My body is still singing with pleasure. I sigh. It would be so easy to lie here and pretend that everything is now all right, but how long will it last? We haven’t resolved any of the problems that made me leave in the first place. It may feel different, but everything is still the same.
I can’t imagine where we’ll go from here, and it’s hard to think, held so close to his body. I try to move, maybe if I put a little distance between us, I can concentrate on thinking of what I should do now.
“Don’t leave me.”
I look at David’s face, he’s still asleep, but his arms tighten around me. “Don’t leave me.” He murmurs again, his voice clou
dy with sleep, but filled with a certain urgency and desperation. “Please.”
I pull him closer, every reservation disappearing as he relaxes against me. “I’m not going anywhere.” I whisper softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Seven
WHEN I WAKE UP AGAIN, IT’S MORNING, and I’m alone on the bed. I wonder where David is, squelching the familiar feeling of having been abandoned. He isn’t in the bathroom, and when I go out to look for him in the apartment, I only find Mrs. Daniels making coffee in the kitchen.
“Good morning.” I say, hiding my disappointment. “Have you seen David?” I ask, already knowing the answer to my question.
“He was going out when I came in,” she offers, a note of sympathy in her voice.
I nod. “Of course he was.” I say, more to myself than to her. I turn back towards the bedroom, wondering why I’m so surprised and disappointed. I had fooled myself into thinking things were different, but they weren’t. With David, it would always be like this.
I take a quick shower and dress mechanically, eager to leave. This time, I assure myself, I won’t be coming back. I’m done with not knowing where I stand. I’m done with feeling as if I don’t matter. If last night was only sex to him, like our marriage was, then I’ll accept it. I’ll take it as a spectacular end to what we had together, and it will be the end.
I leave the apartment, my journey down to the ground floor reminding me of another time, the first time I left. It’s been two months, and yet the emotions running through me are almost identical. When it comes to David, I’m stuck in the same place, hopelessly in love, and hopelessly unloved.
I’m so preoccupied with my thoughts that I almost walk straight into the woman standing at the entrance of the building.
“Sophie!” she exclaims enthusiastically, her face lighting up in a smile that’s so exactly like David’s it makes me want to look away.
It’s Marianne Weber, David’s mother. Vaguely, I wonder what she’s doing here at David’s apartment building. The last time she came here, he made it very clear that he didn’t want to see her.
“It’s so nice to run into you here,” She says, something in her tone causing me to suspect that it wasn’t coincidence. “You look distressed dear.” She adds, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” I force a smile. “I was just on my way home.”
“Ah yes.” She sighs sadly. “You don’t live here anymore.” She studies my face. “Darling, I wonder if I can interest you in having breakfast with me.”
I would rather not sit across from her and have to look at the face that reminds me so much of David. I try to come up with an excuse, but I’m not fast enough.
“Please.” She urges, her blue eyes full of silent entreaty.
“Okay.” I say, giving in.